Show Him What He's Missing | By : larsona Category: +A through F > Dragon Age (all) > Dragon Age (all) Views: 4185 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age 1 or 2, have no affiliation with Bioware, and make no money from the writing of this fanfiction. |
AN: Two days after writing this I got to the (spoliers) Chantry bit. Ooooh was I some kind of pissed. Ugh. Enjoy fluffy smut with the JERK.
Lisbeth Hawke paused at the entrance of the clinic to watch Anders. She was determined to keep visiting him every week like she had done from their first meeting, but it had proved harder than she could have imagined when she first spoke to this man, some ex-Gray Warden, who had proven to be much more than the dim fairytale man his title had made her expect him to be. One week she was held at bay by need. Merely picturing him would send her whole body astray and she held herself trembling to the bed that she would not assault the poor man with desire. And the next week it was something akin to fear, not that he would hurt her, but that something would have cracked in him – that who he was would be lost to the Fade, or worse, that he would be sane but lost to her, unwilling to be with her the gentle, intelligent man he had sometimes allowed himself to be. She watched his back as he opened up a cabinet and took something out, watched his shoulders shift while placing the something on the table, then she moved her gaze to his hair, the same warm copper color as his eyes, moving against the skin of his neck, and she took a breath, slowly, in, pausing, and out again. As she did he had turned around and saw her. A small smile played across his lips, but was swiftly hidden, pressed into a tight line, before he walked over the doorway in which she stood. “Hawke,” he said, “good to see you.” She smiled back as he bent over and she could not help but briefly admire the shape of his ass under the well-fitting robes. He rose. “You too, Anders,” she replied, flushing as she forced herself to look at his face instead. He eyed her strangely, and sure that he knew where she had been looking, she chose to smile again, but this time, with a flirtatious gleam in her eyes. “What are you doing?” “Leaving out milk for the cats.” He seemed to have ignored her pass, gesturing instead behind her, towards the one mangy cat hiding behind a support beam. “I miss them, since I have been out dragged along on adventures most days. And,” he grimaced, “I think the refugees have been eating them.” “Oh, Maker, don’t say that. They’ve probably just been scared off.” He smiled at her and nodded, and she could tell that he was troubled – not that he wasn’t, usually, but she took it upon herself to ease those troubles wherever she could. She had no fear that he would try to end himself. She knew better than most the resolve he’d gained from the trials he had been through, that it had strengthened his desire to fight and that he would never give up that fight if he had breath in his lungs. How much of that resolution came from Justice, she could not say, but it comforted her, either way, that his life would not end by his hands, despite everything. “Do you want to talk?” Relief mixed with wariness in his expression. “Talk?” He wanted to vent but he wanted her permission to do it. “Yes, Anders. You’ve been here for weeks now, and I left you alone because I wanted to give you a rest, but the last I saw of you was your back. You ran out on us.” She paused. “I want to help.” Anders glanced around, like she’d been talking too loudly, and took her wrist, leading her to his desk at the back of the clinic. Letting go, he shoved his fingers through his hair, forcing his ponytail loose and then playing nervously with the band he used to tie it, silently the entire time. Finally he spoke up. “It’s harder to deal with, without the routine of the clinic, when every day I knew what to expect and there were no distractions and nothing to rile me up…. I’ve tried to hold back.” “And you’ve done an excellent job of it. Honestly, nobody in Kirkwall knows anything about it.” She reached up to touch his hand but he drew it away, began tying the ponytail back up even more strictly than before, but each time he did, more hair fell free of it and framed his angular face with an uncontrollable tangle. “But she does! You saw what I almost did to that girl.” Over and over again he tried to fix what he’d done and in the end gave up, rubbing his fingers along his temples with his eyes closed, deep lines of distress creasing his forehead. “You saw what he’s like when-“ “Anders!” She lunged for his right hand, chased it when he tried to avoid her, but he wrenched it from her grasp. “I have faith that you know the self-control to keep yourself separate from him when it counts the most. You’ve years of practice. Yes, I’ve seen it. But I also saw you fighting it, and I saw you beat it.” “Only because you were there!” He stepped closer to her, and his distress, she saw, had half turned into anger – at himself or at her, she could not be sure. They were but inches away, and the intensity of his gaze was intimidating. “If you hadn’t,” he would have been yelling, but for the force with which he kept his voice hushed, “like you weren’t in the past, things would have been as they were then, and she’d be dead and in the ground like the others!” She took his hand again and he did not fight, and she managed to get the other hand too, holding them down at his sides, and for the first time the proximity of their bodies seemed to occur to him, and clouded over the anger. “Anders,” she said again more quietly, as the tension in his body did not lift at all, but did change in character. “You’ve seen what I am, but I’m still a man.” She heard his breath, coming hard, but his temper... she was sure it was just anger. She recalled the other times she had tried to flirt with him, and how aptly he had turned aside her advances. He’s possessed, he really can’t afford to and neither could she, he’d devoted his life to an “other” and there was no room in it for the frivolities of lust, she had heard all of his excuses, but the trouble was that he really seemed to believe them, had resigned himself to them. She had believed them too in the end, and was coming to see him in the capacity of a friend, despite the want she had kindled for him for so long. His demeanor to her was cool and unaffected, her flirtation brought nary a blush nor a smile most of the time, and that would dishearten even the most arduous courtship. And that was why when he spoke now and the way he spoke came as such a surprise to her. He altered his stance so his gaze was tilted down at her, not an overbearing ledge but a soft and promising slope, and she could practically feel the heat from his body, feel the closeness of his legs, his body, to hers. “You can’t tease me like this,” he said slowly, “and expect me to resist forever.” But she never let it be said that she was left without a witty comeback. She could adapt to this. “How long will it take before I drive you mad?” she asked sweetly, the hand on his right slipping up to dance on the slightest bare skin of his wrist. She was caught off guard, and then thrown entirely off-balance by his kiss. In less than a hair’s breadth of time he had cupped her cheeks in his hands and pulled her to him, their bodies and then their lips crashing together as his eyes wrenched shut, funneling all his need into the press of his mouth on hers. Her eyes closed as her lips opened and immediately, their tongues met, played, while her hands searched for purchase on his robes, finding it on his shoulders, his neck, the back of his head, and one of his upon the small of her back held them so closely sealed that she could not have wriggled herself free even had she wanted to try. Almost as soon as it had begun it was over. The hand on her back slipped to her hips and pried her away. Leaving her standing dizzily, he wrung his hands together worriedly. He was still close, she could still feel him, wanted him, and she could see he did too by the way he reached out delicately and brushed a strand of hair from her face, paused, and drew his hand back, avoiding her skin deliberately. “This will be a disaster,” he said dejectedly. “But by the Maker, Lisbeth, I can’t live without it. We could die tomorrow. I don’t want it to be before I tell you how I feel.” “Then show me how you feel.” The words were out of her mouth before she had even finished thinking them. Sidling up closer to him, she slipped her hand under the jacket, to the tunic underneath, and held his waist, and he watched her do it unmoving, like it would break the spell. Like he’d resigned himself to the tragedy that was his lust. The thought of it made her smile. Her hip grazed against his belt, against his body, and he flinched. “Show you…?” he said weakly. His face was red. She never thought she would live to see such a thing, cool Anders with his feathers finally ruffled! “I thought with Justice… this part of me was over.” “Why? Because you couldn’t love anybody, or…?” “Yes. I can’t give anybody a normal life. If you’re with me, we’ll be hunted, hated. And I expected to be hated by any woman anyway, as soon as she found out. I had given up on it entirely.” “It? You mean to say… sex?” “I, ah-“ his blush deepened and he met her eyes finally, “yes, I mean to say.” Hawke smirked. “But Lisbeth! I mean it, meant what I’ve been saying, that it’s dangerous, I’m dangerous, and you’ve been so damned persistent. If it really is your choice, that you’ll ignore every semblance of caution…” “If my door is open tonight…” Lisbeth drawled, leaning in so that her lips could just barely touch the line of his jaw. “I-if it is,” he stepped away again, and she took back her hand, “I will come to you. If not, I’ll know you took my warning at last.” Knowing that here in public what they had already done was foolish enough, she nodded. “Tonight, then,” she murmured to him, and his eyes lingered on her as she turned and walked slowly out of the clinic, the promise of the night weighing heavily on each of their minds.
xxx
While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
All works displayed here, whether pictorial or literary, are the property of their owners and not Adult-FanFiction.org. Opinions stated in profiles of users may not reflect the opinions or views of Adult-FanFiction.org or any of its owners, agents, or related entities.
Website Domain ©2002-2017 by Apollo. PHP scripting, CSS style sheets, Database layout & Original artwork ©2005-2017 C. Kennington. Restructured Database & Forum skins ©2007-2017 J. Salva. Images, coding, and any other potentially liftable content may not be used without express written permission from their respective creator(s). Thank you for visiting!
Powered by Fiction Portal 2.0
Modifications © Manta2g, DemonGoddess
Site Owner - Apollo