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Say goodbye to ya kneecaps, chucklehead!	By : Imaginary Category: +S through Z > Team Fortress 2 Views: 1784 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own TeamFortress 2, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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IMPORTANT AN: Hello, this is me Kazhiru!

I'm here with a new story. It's a Scout/engineer, and I wrote this during NaNoWriMo 2012. I finally got to posting it. It is going to be 14 chapters long. The AO3 Version will also include spontaneous pictures.

for the full version go HERE: Search Archive of our own, to to website. Add works/858042 after url.

I promise you daily updates since the story is finished and all ready for your reading pleasure. Please enjoy!

The moment before the roll-up door moved was tense. Scout was firming his already tight grip around his bat. He was not nervous, he was excited. He had been on the battlefield long enough to get used to the continuous fighting. Or one could say that he had been on the battlefield long enough to like it.

Scout swung his bat out of the way as he jogged for a warmup. He was impatient for the round to begin, and he had set himself a challenge to kill or sabotage as many of those RED bastards as he could. ‟Come on, come on.‟ He chanted, as he prepared to sprint. He knew the 2Fort better than his own pockets, and he was aiming straight for the kill.

The administrator started to count seconds for the start of the round, and Scout was preparing himself for the launch. He would be the first one to cross the bridge, and the first one to lay any damage on this round, he would make sure of that.

‟One.‟ And that was Scout's cue. He set off in a sprint, and he took long, fast, and as powerful leaps as he could to get enough speed for the jump. He wanted to cross the bridge before the Red Sniper got him on his crosshair. Scout had a feeling that the Sniper would enter the field through the supply room, but Scout was confident that he would beat him to it. He could see a Soldier running along the sniper deck, but gladly the idiot's helmet was so low that the other couldn't see a thing or then he didn't care. Neither did Scout. Scout jumped from the bridge's roof and prepared to land on the sniper deck, but the Sniper wasn't as slow as Scout had hoped him to be.

‟Boom. Headshot.‟ Was the only thing Scout heard, and the last thing he realized was that his jump had ended up to be too short, and he hit the edge of the deck painfully, and he felt his ribs crack and air get squeezed out of his lungs. With that Scout fell to his death on the floor with the administrator's voice ‟First blood.‟ ringing in his ears.

Scout took a quick inhale as he respawned in the supply room. ‟This sucks!‟ He yelled as he got up, and rubbed his chest that was feeling ghost pains. Sometimes that happened, there wasn't really anything wrong, but your mind remembered the pain.

‟Well that's what you get.‟ The BLU engineer laughed, and Scout turned around to scowl at him angrily. ‟What the fuck are you doing here?‟ The man should be on the field.

‟Resupply.‟ The hardhat grinned, and hit Scout on the back of the head with his wrench as he left. That goddamn hardhat was making fun of him. Scout scowled as he rubbed his head and got back on the field. This time he would be more successful.

Scout ran to the sewer entry, this time passing the Sniper easily enough as the jumped straight to the sewer water. The water sploshed everywhere as he landed, and he just wished that no-one heard the splosh. He hated water. He loathed sever water, and every time he did this, he promised himself that he would never do it again, but he ended up doing it anyways. ‟God, this is disgusting!‟ He grumbled as he saw something unspecified float across the water surface, and Scout tried to hold his retch. Easy now. He thought as he slowly started to wade across the water. He was piss ass poor swimmer, and he didn't want to trust in his swimming abilities in a place like this.

Scout made his way under the bridge where he was safe from spying eyes. He made his way across the water, and he entered the sewers. The tunnel was disgusting. It was always completely drenched in water, and there was water dripping on his neck, causing him goosebumps. The sewer floor was slowly growing water plants on the bottom, or whatever plants those were which survived under all that sludge.

Scout took slow steps forward, but he slipped on some underwater weed, and he slapped his hand against the sewer wall, and he regretted it immediately. His once clean hand wrapping was now tainted with dark green, vile smelling sludge, that only stuck to his fingers and made his grasp slip from the bat he was holding. ‟Aw, jeeze.‟ He hissed as he tried to shake the stuff off his hand, but he ended up rubbing it on his already ruined pants. ‟Never again.‟ He promised himself once again, as he waded deeper.

He was finally out of the tunnels, and he took one step at a time to get up to the first floor of RED base. He saw a Heavy and a Medic pair run in from the main doors and to the ramp room. Scout waited them to pass, and quickly ran to the L-shaft. The L shaft was for some reason not used that often, but the courtyard was usually well guarded. But Scout was prepared for this. He prepared his Sandman as he came closer, and he slowly inched closer to the ramp, and when he had the sentry in his sight, he aimed a hit at it, and he smiled gleefully as the stupid machine exploded to peaces. ‟Broke your stupid crap, moron!‟ Scout yelled to the RED Engineer hissing in anger by the remains of his sentry. Scout could see the other fumbling for his gun, dropping the wrench on the ground while he was at it.

Scout started to proceed up the stairs as the Engineer prepared his gun for a revenge shot, But this time Scout was prepared to be the faster one. He climbed up the ramp, and jumped as the Engineer shot, avoiding damage, and he ran around the Engineer, confusing him, and he then fielded his own gun and shot the engineer on point plank range, and just to be on the safe side, he shot him twice. ‟How's that feel, wimp?‟ He mumbled, and he turned around to run to the Sniper docks, and he prepared to jump down to get people lost on his tracks. There was already a Soldier coming, that damn man had probably heard the sentry explode. Scout was about to take another disgusting dip in the murky water of shit and waste, but decided otherwise as he heard a loud bang and a yell of pain as the Sniper shot down the BLU medic who was currently charging their Heavy. ‟Doctor!‟ Heavy yelled as he turned around, and yelped as the Sniper tried to shoot him too, but not hitting the other man fatally. Scout grinned, and he made his way silently behind the Sniper. Such an annoying bushman needed a proper beating. Scout lifted his sandman and took aim. This Sniper would fly all the way over the BLU base. He thought, and he swung. ‟Bada-schwing!‟ He yelled, and watched the Sniper fly out of the sniper dock, and hit the BLU wall at the opposite side of the bridge, causing Scout to laugh madly. ‟I oughta' be on a baseball card!‟ He joked as he saw the soldier rocked jump to the other side of the bridge to see the damage done to the Sniper. The man was raging! Scout gulped as he realized that the Soldier was looking vengefully directly at him. Scout ran away the minute he saw the other lift up his rocket launcher to shoot.

Not good! Scout thought as he ran as fast as his legs let him, but he still thought that the revenge was worth it.

Scout made a sharp turn to safety, out of the sniper deck, but his journey was put to a stop. He had ran straight to something, and it made a sharp ‟Beep‟ Sound, and suddenly he was getting himself filled with lead as the sentry started to unload it's arsenal in him.

‟I told you not to touch that darn thing!‟ The Engineer yelled, and the Scout fell on his knees. His insides were like Swiss cheese. ‟Shit.‟ He hissed, and he fell dead to the ground.

‟Respawning again, I see.‟ The Engineer laughed, as he was making his exit from the supply room. ‟Fuck you all!‟ Scout scowled and the BLU Engineer only sneered at his direction. ‟Take it like a man, son! This is a war, not a play field.‟ Engineer got back to his sentry, and Scout was nearly hissing with rage. That damn engineer was a total jerk! He was trying his best here! He would show them, he would go get that intelligence, and he would do it now!

Scout ran to the resupply cabinet, and then made his way to the the sniper deck. He would run past the bridge so fast that Sniper wouldn't even notice what hit him, and then he would distract that Engineer somehow. Scout ran as fast as he could past the bridge and he got right next to the upstairs pass way, and he prepared his scatter gun to shoot that sentry to bits. But he didn't have to. Their Demoman had rigged the whole place up, and the moment he peeked inside, he saw the sentry blow up in pieces and the engineer hit the wall, but he was already dead from the destruction as he did so.

‟Wow.‟ Scout said in amazement, but he didn't have any time to linger. He passed by the sentry's scraps, and went for the spiral room to get down for the intelligence. He was already halfway there. He smiled as he ran a little faster, but froze on his stand right before the door. The RED Heavy and Medic duo was there waiting for him. The demo who had been a great help earlier was now bloody mess on the floor. He was screwed.

But at least he still had one advantage: he was faster. He was the fastest man to ever run on this planet. He prepared his baseball to bonk the Heavy unconscious, he could easily outrun even a speeding bullet, but he didn't want to take chances with a minigun. In this small world, there were two things he was undefeated at: Running, and baseball. Not a single of his many siblings could ever top his record, and not a single person he had met dared to challenge him. And he swung. The ball flew in a perfect curve and hit Heavy straight on the forehead, and he fat man wasn't quick enough to even notice a thing! ‟I love my ball!‟ Scout commented in joy, as he made a mad dash to the intelligence room, Medic right behind his heels.

‟Holy shit, a Pyro!‟ Scout yelled as the pyromaniac turned around from the corner, and tried to scorch Scout alive. ‟No, no, no!‟ The other chanted as he tried to run around the other, and he managed to avoid the flames only barely, but the medic got a few hits in, making syringes jut from Scout's back. ‟I hate doctors!‟ He yelled as he swooped the intelligence and tried to avoid the axe coming at his way, only missing it by inches. ‟Man, you are crazy!‟ Scout commented, as he shot the RED Pyro on the head at point blank range, killing the other in an instant. ‟You are trying my patience!‟ The medic yelled, and he started to shoot syringes at Scout, but Scout was prepared avoid the man's attack. No-one should ever try to confront him with such a short range gun.

Scout sprinted out of the intelligence room, and soon he heard an even more scary sound. ‟Protect the intelligence!‟ The RED Soldier yelled as he ran after him.

‟Not that psycho too!‟ Scout mumbled, and he did his best, running as fast as he could. If he only could make it to the sniper dock, he would be able to jump home, and he'd be safe. And he would do just that. He was fast, and he loved the adrenaline that was rushing on his veins and pounding in his ears. It made him run even faster, it made his heart beat faster, and it made him impossible to catch up. The wind howled in his ears, and it almost knocked his cap off his head. He was running so fast that the walls were only one big blur around him. This was what he was born to do. He was not good at tactics, not good at planning, not good at math or anything really, but he was undefeated at running. It was his life, he was the fastest man alive, the Scout. The RED wimp of a Scout didn't have anything to him, he was undefeated! He came in to the second floor, and Engineer had already set up a sentry for him, but he was too fast to get more than a couple of hits in. The RED Scout had joined in the chase as well, but he couldn't reach him with his bat, he was too fast for that slowpoke. Scout made a mad dash to the Sniper dock, where the RED Sniper had been camping probably since the announce of the stolen intelligence. The Sniper pulled the trigger faster than Scout had time to realize the man was aiming at him. Scout was quick enough to jerk to the side, but not to aboid the bullet. It hit him hard on the shoulder, almost making him drop the intelligence, but he managed to recover from the shock. After getting shot in a daily basis one got used to ignoring the blasted pain. He didn't slow down to wonder, but he kept going, he moved behind the wall to avoid further fire, and he jumped, trying to get to the bridge, but Soldier had fired his rocket first. Scout had barely gotten his feet off the ground as the grenade hit the ground and exploded, causing scatter and scraps to hit Scout all over, but that wasn't the all.

‟Holy shit!‟ Scout yelled as he was rocketed past the skies with the intelligence on him. He was still alive, he was still fucking alive as he flew across the bridge and to the BLU side all the way to their sniper dock. But the landing wasn't easy. Scout's fly was stopped by a mad dash against the wall, and the collision broke his neck instantly.

‟Not again at the respawn!‟ Scout yelled in rage as he run to get the intelligence, but he only saw BLU Sniper run with it to the intelligence room. ‟Hey, that was my job!‟ Scout yelled, but the Sniper only laughed at him. ‟Keep yubbin' that big mouth, while it's still attached to your bloody neck. It's the fast that eat the slow here!‟ The other taunted, and Scout was nearly boiling with rage. How dare he accuse him of being slow. ‟You damn wombat!‟ He could only yell at the man, but he was already too far gone.

‟Fuck him, and fuck it all. Is my whole team full of idiots?‟ He hissed as he ran the ramp down to get to the first floor, and to the bridge. He didn't give two fucks if the Sniper survived or not.

‟Success. We have secured the enemy intelligence.‟ Was announced, and Scout could hear it very clearly from his headphone.

‟Well izn't zhat just wonderful.‟ The RED Medic noted, taking Scout from his own world where Sniper's output granted the team the intelligence he had worked very hard on.

‟I healed the man who will kill you.‟ He noted, as the Pyro came from behind him, holding a shotgun in his hands, looking positively malicious.

‟And don't you even think about running away.‟ The Medic grinned as Pyro pulled the trigger and shot Scout right on the kneecap, The bullet shattered and made Scout's kneecap nearly explode in to shrapnel. The pain was unbelievable, and it felt like his kneecap was only splinters on his flesh, causing his leg give away, and Scout hit the ground in kneeling position, crushing his already smashed knee with his own weight.

The pain was unbearable. The dirt got in to his wound, and it made his leg sting as well as his eyes water. ‟Say goodbye to your head, I will add it on my collection.‟ The Medic grinned as the RED Pyro equipped his axe, and lifted it over his head to prepare to chop Scout's head off in one hit.

‟I'm bulletproof!‟ The BLU Heavy came running with the BLU Doctor, and at first Scout was relieved as he saw the fat ass shoot the doctor and the Pyro off of him, but his joy soon turned in to grief as he realized that the fatso had not noticed him at all. The Heavy surely wasn't interesting in searching kneeling Scouts, and he obviously only saw him as a body who had died in a funny position. Scout tried to turn around and yell, but the minigun bullet's were flying haywire in to every direction, and and they either dulled his sounds off, or hit him painfully to the sides, chest, shoulders or legs. The Heavy was going to kill him.

Scout was glad that none of the bullets had done nothing worse that cause pain and dig deep into his flesh. He noted that he could still move. But that gratefulness never lated long as a haywire bullet went straight to his other knee, and Scout could feel the muscles and joints tear. He howled in pain, but even his screams couldn't be recognized from among the other screams all around the battlefield. Heavy's manic laughter covered all other sounds around him as he ran and shot at the same time. ‟Now, it's my killing time!‟ The Heavy yelled, and Scout could feel the bridge shake under the man's heavy stomps as he ran. He was about to lift his hands do protect himself from the approaching doom, but that barely did anything.

‟Cry some more!‟ The Heavy yelled, and he stepped on Scout's leg, thinking that he was just another body. And he had stepped right on his knee. The still somewhat intact kneecap came out of his leg through the pullet hole, and Scout howled in so much pain that there was no other. HE was sure that the whole world could hear him. The pain was blinding, it made white spots appear in his vision, and it made him scream and twitch, but it didn't stop the Heavy. The man nearly trampled him on his legs, not caring about anything, probably trusting that the respawn would safe him eventually. ‟You sick bastard.‟ Scout hissed as the man finally got past him, and he was already losing his consciousness. Scout could notice a lingering thread of having to feel the Medic walk over him as well, but that never came. He heard a sound of ubercharge wearing off, and suddenly there was another body laying next to him. It was the doctor's dead, unmoving body and where the man had once stood there was now a RED spy, holding a dagger in his hand, with a wide smirk on his face as he went after the Heavy.

‟You RED bastards.‟ Scout hissed, and he was positive that he would die from the loss of blood. A slow and painful death.

Scout was trying to stabilize his breathing, and let the respawn take him, but he was rudely awakened by a steel toed boot digging to his ribs.

‟Well look at what we have here. Isn't it the annoying Scout who thought that he could get out intelligence just like that. Well guess what: You thought wrong! Maggot!‟ The RED Soldier yelled, and Scout was surprised he could feel the other's spit hit him on the face. He thought that the pain all over his body would take away all feeling he had left.

‟Don't worry, you will be dead soon. Dead in several pieces.‟ The crazy bastard said as he places the head of the rocket launcher against Scout's face and was about to pull the trigger.

‟Wait, I have an Idea.‟ The Soldier hit Scout on the head with the rocket launcher as he didn't bother lifting it up from it's place as he peered over to see who dared to intrude him, and Scout was horrified that the man might accidentally explode him to tine bits of flesh and bloody mist.

‟Get with the program!‟ The Soldier yelled, and pressed the launcher harder on Scout's face, making the other grunt as his head was nearly crushed between the weapon and the solid ground. Was the fucker leaning on the damn gun?

‟No, this is a good plan, listen up.‟ The RED Engineer whom Scout could only merely see from the corner of his eye was talking. The one whose sentry had been destroyed many times during this match. The engineer kept talking: ‟Let's take him as a hostage.‟

Scout couldn't believe his ears, but he was confirmed that he had heard right as Soldier screamed it again as a confirmation. ‟We will not. That has never been done before, and this will not be the first time!‟ He yelled, but Engineer kept his ground. ‟But that's the perfect reason to have him! The enemy will never suspect it! And then they will be out one member, and the next battle is ours!‟ The Engineer explained, and Scout was trying to put in, but the Soldier did not mind his mumblings.

‟You are right! You should deserve a medal! Let's take him to the base!‟ The Soldier exclaimed, and the Engineer smiled with a victorious grin that sure didn't speak well to Scout. ‟Yes, let's take him to our base, and let's interrogate all the information out of him that we can.‟ The Soldier only seemed to get more happy with the idea, and he lifted his launcher off Scout's head only to smash it against Scout's stomach, causing Scout to retch. ‟You are now officially my favorite man in this war! Let us proceed with this plan!‟ He said, and Scout tried to say something to stop this madness. Anything to get the two man forget him and just leave him to respawn in peace.

‟No, no, no, that's a horrible idea, I don't know anything! You sure don't want me there!‟ Scout tried, but the Soldier just hit him again with the launcher. ‟Shut up you, it's time for you to fall asleep. Sweet nightmares.‟ He said, and in seconds the other had taken out his shovel, and the man hit him with the sharp end straight to the forehead, causing Scout's vision to blur and start to spin around like a merry go around. The last thing he saw was Engineer's victorious, no, veracious look as the blood dripped on Scout's eyes, making sure that he didn't see a thing. The last thing he was aware off before falling in to complete blackness was the feeling of getting roughly lifted on the ground and getting thrown on someone's shoulder, and getting carried away with his leg's swinging around madly, as they no longer were properly attached from the knees. It was only thanks to the faint that he didn't feel the pain of being carried away with legs nearly on a bow tie thanks to this horrible treatment.
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Say goodbye to ya kneecaps, chucklehead!