Reviews for Under Tail

BY : Fantom


  • From Storyteller on July 07, 2017

    As a quick note, I acknowledge Frisk's agenderness, but it's hard to remember to use "they" in the singular and I'm certain I won't catch them all and call them a "he". Sorry about that.

    I'm fantastically interested in this, and hope to see more in the future. You've done a great job, especially in the way that you have to read both the good and evil sides in order to get the whole story and understand the whole setting--it's almost like the actual game in that regard. And the way you manage to go through each side so uniquely is absolutely great--even when it's the same monster in each, it isn't repetitive to read the second half of the chapter at all.

    I'm curious about all sorts of things, though, and have a number of questions. Why, if she's going on about dominating and raping monsters, is Flowey still calling her philosophy "kill or be killed"? It seems that all the monsters that Rapist!Frisk has been going after have become more... connected... to him and his soul. Are their souls actually partially dead now, or is it just their personalities that have died? Or are they not properly alive (or properly monsters?) now that they're full of LOVE, not love? Those are the only explanations I can think of this early in the game.

    From what it looks like, gaining LOVE (is that still "Level Of ViolencE?) is increasing Rapist!Frisk's sexual potency. But Lover!Frisk seems to do as good as, or sometimes better than, him. He's always trying to help others even if they killed him--and monsters are made of love, compassion, hopes, and dreams. Does he somehow resonate with them more because of that? I don't want to think of Lover!Frisk as somehow less than the Rapist in respect to sex.

    When will you be looking at Frisk's family life before Mt. Ebott? If he was wondering whether his friends and family were even missing him, and if he was so mocked that he felt he had to do something as dangerous as climbing a murderous mountain to be acknowledged... it doesn't sound too great. Considering that a number of monsters have decided to bear his children, I hope Lover!Frisk starts considering staying in the Underground (even if they feel that they need to at least find out what happened on the surface). Also... did Frisk have any sexual experience before coming down here?

    Will Lover!Frisk ever get a girlfriend (I personally hope for Asriel and/or Chara, but I'm unashamed Friskiel and Charisk and Chariskiel trash. Utter trash.)? Or will he keep that sort of polyamorous thing with all the people he's grown close to? Will he ever have sex with Lima and Bean? Will they show up later, even in a non-sex-partner role? For suddenly gaining a father, they didn't seem especially touched by it. Is a dad just not especially important to a mitosising race like Moldsmals?

    Is Gaster appearing? While there's all sorts of opportunities for Gaster to appear, I have to ask--what about Chara? Is she a spirit following Frisk like in the game, or will she only appear at the very end of the Rapist!Frisk path? Chara's really too fascinating of a character to leave alone until the very end, or on only a single route. Also, why does Flowey not act like Frisk is Chara? Still, it's up to author fiat, I suppose.
    Incidentally, I like the fourth wall-aware nature of the narrative. For most other fandoms it would be an annoying thing, but it fits in just find in an Undertale fic.
    Also incidentally, you are a FANTASTIC punner.

    I'm so glad to see that you've reached Snowdin Forest! But I hope you aren't going to do one monster to one chapter anymore. The route from the Ruins to Snowdin, even with puzzles, is a lot simpler than crossing an entire underground city. And aside from Snowdrake, Chilldrake, Ice Cap, Grytrot, and Glyde (are you doing Glyde?), you've got Doggo, both of the Dogi, Lesser Dog (REAL curious to see what you'll do with her) and Greater Dog. That's insanely huge. Maybe you could fit a dog into each of the other monster's chapters?
    Of course, that's without getting into Snowdin itself. I'll be interested in seeing what non-combat monsters you match up with Frisk there. Grillby, most likely... maybe Fuku is there, too? That mouth-thing in the bar looks interesting, and there are a few other interesting monsters... maybe the icecube wolf?

    But what happens once you reach the end? Is each route just going to end in it's respective manners? Pacifist is longer with more monsters than Genocide (unless you skip True Pacifist ending, but why would you do that other than to include Asgore sex, which you could fit in another way?), so keeping a 1:1 ratio with monster encounters wouldn't be possible for the entire story. And once both routes have reached their conclusion... is that it? Or will you somehow have each Frisk take one another on, or... something?
    Heh. If so, I think Rapist!Frisk will be in for a surprise. He might have overwhelming LOVE, but Lover!Frisk... well. Even if this is a world of sex and not of bullet-dodging, he's still the same Frisk who, when actually killed by the Absolute God of Hyperdeath...
    "*But it refused"
    Damn. That simple line was so emotional.

    I do have a small request, though--about the Amalgamates. Please don't make them too... humanoid, or pretty. They're meant to be horrifying both in appearance and in what happened to them--even if you don't make the sex revolting, it should still be a section of the story to explore more exotic fetishes. And a bit of fear sex. (speaking of horrifying things... what the hell would Omega Flowey be like?)
    Also, in the games Amalgamates were completely immune to damage if you tried to attack them (and gave some terrifying freaky messages when you did). Would they still be vulnerable to Rapist!Frisk's soul-virus-thing?

     

     

    Now, to review which was done better of the Mercy or No Mercy paths for each chapter:

    2 Mercy
    I almost chose the other route because of the goddamn spiders. Bizarrely, I actually look forwards to more spider scenes when you get to Muffet...
    Anyways, I like how this captured the "uncertain in life" quality of the Froggits. Rana wound of being very nice, and this was a good look into the stranger culture of the monsters of Under Tail. The Lover!Frisk sex did a better job of showing her sexually as a monster as compared to the Rapist, which really just spent the chapter being a horrible person and establishing that he could rape minds as well as bodies.

    3 No Mercy
    Let it be said first that I much prefer the Mercy one in terms of character and story, but No Mercy was hotter. Twerking was a bit of a turn off--pity he didn't think of belly dancing or something like that. I liked the split into daughters thing, but... well, I'm afraid I find fictional incest pretty hot, and one of the daughters actually goes with Rapist rather than just disappearing as a pair of new dance partners. If there's one thing I like about No Mercy, it's that the characters stay around... although as hollow shells of themselves.

    4 Mercy
    Napstablook alone would have made Lover!Frisk the best choice of the two for this chapter. I hope they have sex ones the human gets to Waterfall. Anyways, what you did with Loox was pretty fascinating, having them as an individual rather than type of monster. Does that mean that Astigmatism is just another of the same type of monster, since they're both of the Eyewalker family? Also, what would be up with the mouth and face that appears on Astigmatism's eyelid? I also like how each half of Loox reacts in opposite-but-still-suitable ways to everything. The Loox sex was also better in Mercy.

    5 Mercy
    The Vegetoids were much better explored in Mercy, and the crush Nantes eventually grew for Frisk was cute. This is also the point where No Mercy begins to get a touch repetitive ("rape them till they like it" doesn't allow for quite as much variety as Lover!Frisk's route provides), and the slave harem sex sometimes seems like it's intruding on the progression to the next girl.

    6 No Mercy
    Again, I really prefer the Mercy one to Rapist!Frisk's path here--the way you handled the Migosp gang all leading one another to behave badly while none of them actually wanted it was masterful (although there wasn't a part where Antmanda showed any reluctance to kill him... I suppose it was a fair guess at that point, though). But No Mercy forced the Migosps into forming a Swarm as they slowly became a hive. Each one showed a different side of Migosps; one, the bug that attacked you in the game; the other, the dancer they secretly want to be. But the Migosp later going on to form a swarm of all the other Migosps was sort of hot, even if we didn't get to see it.

    7 Mercy
    I had a sad when Frisk declined to be Whimsun's datefriend. It would have been cute if they had. Although Frisk was wrong about one thing--becoming datefriends isn't always about loving one another. It can be about getting to know one another so that you can fall in love in the first place. Sometimes knowing one another as friends just doesn't provide the push needed to elevate feelings of friendly love into romantic love. Although I think that having sex first before any of that would be an awkward way to start this relationship...
    It's sad, but from a narrative perspective I like what happened when he molested Toriel. In addition to showing him that he can LOAD without dying (speaking of which, Rapist!Frisk has never died or LOADed at all. He has no idea what can happen, does he?), it taught him a valuable lesson and showed just what raping a monster could accomplish. I do wonder about what Flowey meant though... did the Master-enslavement thing really partially survive the LOAD? That's more than just the sense of deja vu it normally causes, right?
    While it was nice to see that Rapist!Frisk had a vague sense of honor enough not to try to enslave Toriel, how quickly he tossed it aside was souring.

    8 Mercy
    The humor was good, Snowdrake's affection had an endearing, simple purity to it, and it was overall just fantastic. No Mercy's side wasn't particularly notable, only in learning that he hated chubby ladies. Although Sans and Papyrus feel sort of... odd. The description of fleshy skeletons is just strange. I hope they're actually bone, or at least look less like the humans-with-skeleton-paint-on that the description makes them out to be. Incidentally... almost no monsters have used actual attacks. Do monsters still send messages to each other with stuff like bullet-pattern birthday cards? Will Papyrus fling bones around to help pin down Frisk?
    Uh... does Papyrus even know how to rape? Or that stealing Frisk's SOUL would kill him? Or is he still just trying to capture a human, not really understanding what's going on?

     

     

    ...

    Please.
    Please, I have one request of you. I ask most of these questions to show that I'm paying attention to the story and like it (although I certainly hope many will eventually be answered in-story).
    But this is a true request.
    Please, if Jerry shows up... ditch her. I don't think somehow making Jerry sympathetic is beyond your reach, but Jerry is... is... Jerry.



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  • From ANON - Ron on December 14, 2016

    I love this fic I love the pacifist path with the most.



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  • From ANON - L on August 30, 2016

    more plz



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  • From ANON - on August 30, 2016

    plz make more these stores are amazing



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  • From ANON - on July 08, 2016

    Good storyline and definitley the no mercy

     



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  • From Lala on June 18, 2016

    This fanfiction is absolutely amazing! Both the mercy route and the no mercy route are exceptional. I've enjoyed reading both. You certainly aren't lacking when it comes to descriptions, and not only that, but there's also a bit of humor thrown in. This is amazing, I'm astonished! I do hope that you update soon, but please take your time.

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  • From Teddybear on May 16, 2016

    While Both Pacifist and No Mercy are well written, I like Pacifist a bit more. I can't wait until another chapter comes out, although i don't mind the wait. It leaves me time to think of what might happen next.

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  • From ANON - Grantmatt47 on April 11, 2016

    Just love every word. So glad to see the next chapter. This story is so much FUN

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  • From That_Other_Guy on April 08, 2016

    *Hums Maegalovania to self.*

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  • From ANON - Grantmatt47 on February 22, 2016

    Dear lord, it was a long wait but a worthy one. This is the best chapter yet and im so excited to see what you do going forward. This is becoming exactly what an undertale eroge would be. Remember, with sans and papyrus coming up this is your story, and handle them as you see fit! Also cant wait to see what genocide sans is like in your story!! Keep on keeping on

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  • From That_Other_Guy on February 15, 2016

    OH GOD... THEY DONT HAVE SOCKS!!!!
    THE WORLD IS ENDING!!!
    Anyway as always keep it up!
    See you in the land of the pun-master.

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  • From ANON - RRR on February 15, 2016

    I gotta say guys, this is bar none the best chapter of the story, and surprisingly, not for the sex scenes. You have grasped what so many others in diverging path story lines seem to miss. Despite how different they become, the main character is supposed to be the same person. Video games especially seem to have a dog kicking maniac and a mother Teresa caricature just happen to share the same name and narrative starting point. To be completely honest, this was the first chapter in which the pacifist path really engaged me, as the smut is is the main reason I visit this site. The accidental consumption of Toriel by the legitimately good heart Frisk was a real "pay attention" moment for me. But the best part is the No Mercy Frisks (initial) decision to spare her out of a possible compassion, that sets this story head and shoulders above any duel path, moral choice interactive story that I can think of. For it to really seem as if it is the same character through both story's they must constantly have, however minor, temptations or impulses towards an option usually taken by their mirror. It does not need to be frequent, in fact I would think if out of character if No Mercy Frisk had more than two or three moments like that in the entire story's run. The best part of the pacifist path by contrast was the twin realizations of accidentally committing a great injustice towards one he greatly carried about, albeit without knowing what the full consequences of his actions would be, and the apparently very strong impulse towards continuing with her enslavement, an act that showed astoundingly human characterization. Both his realization of his moral compromise and it's consequences, and the proof that he is still a version of the No Mercy Frisk, and vise-versa. I can not think of another moral choice story that does this, making your writing exceptional. Please continue no matter what, and my personal thanks for the No Mercy Frisk/Flowery Scene, absolutely a favorite scene for this story. As an idea towards the issue of Chara that i raised in previous reviews, and the fact that I like Sexy plant Flowery vs another goat Asriel, I wonder if it is possible in the no mercy end, after the barrier is broken or bypassed of course, for Frisk to evolve to a perfected, soulless existence? Him and flowery, free to have infinite experiences in the multi-verse, hopefully with a real knife between Chara's eyes. Also hoping that the lack of comment at finding the toy knife is indicative of Chara being at least not in direct control of Frisk? I really hope so. Fun to speculate on, and I sincerely hope to see you continue the story to that point. You have clearly demonstrated that you handle it with exceptional regard towards character dynamics and as compelling a narrative as the original.

    We are almost to the Sans meeting! Keep it up, I am filled with Determination for you to succeed!

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  • From ANON - RRR on January 07, 2016

    Wonderful as always, No Mercy for the win. I hope you temporally separate Frisk from his girls for the Sans introduction. Sans is awesome and deserves lots of screen time, in both paths. For the No Mercy path, have you thought of preliminary Flowery sex encounters? If Frisk has awesome non rape sex with her and does not immediately tame her, it would be interesting to see him become more obsessed with her, and could lead to an interesting end game. Thanks for writing, and good luck!

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  • From ANON - Bubba on January 04, 2016

    Love that we get both runs. Love the enslavement.
    hot as fuck
    still wanna see him enslave Toriel eventually.

    how will fem-sans handle the merciless rapist?
    Will rapist-Frisky facefuck flowey rather than kill them?
    All that and more in the next episode

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  • From ANON - Grantmatt47 on December 26, 2015

    First doing this from my phone so sorry for any typos. This is a freaking gem. Im intensely curious about where your taking the story and love the attention to the material. I know there is a long road ahead for writing, especially with 2 routes, but don't give up!! You've made something really good her. This is BEFORE i bring up the sex. Whew man is it hot and heavy. Can be a little too short at times but honestly this is one of my very VERY few repeat stories. Please keep them coming because each chapter..
    Fills me with determination!!

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