Milk & Honey - Legend of Zelda

BY : theWallflower
Category: Zelda > Het - Male/Female
Dragon prints: 30624
Disclaimer: "The Legend of Zelda", and all the characters and settings therein, are established copyrights and trademarks of Nintendo Co., Ltd. This story is for entertainment purposes only and is not intended for sale.

Milk & Honey

By Eric J. Juneau



Two guards on the left, one on the right.

Link let out a little slack on the hookshot, dropping him back under the parapet. A castle guard traipsed by, his boots clicking on the stone walkway.

Once he passed, Link climbed up and put the hookshot away in his bag. The guards weren't patrolling in his favor tonight. Every time he thought one had passed by, another one came around the corner. Were they upping security for some reason? Why? Not because of him. He'd never been caught.

Sneaking into Hyrule Castle in the dead of night wasn't behavior he wanted reported.

Link tiptoed down the walkway and ducked behind a barrel in an alcove. Voices sounded around the corner.

"Dunno why there's so many of us," someone said in a shabby accent. "Ain't been trouble around the castle for years. They caught that Ganondorf fellow. No trouble since they discovered his plot to assassinate the king."

"Magic wards around him are tighter than a Leever's arsehole. I hear talk of building a prison in Gerudo desert, just for him and his like."

"The Gerudo'll allow that?"

"They suggested it," the guard countered. "Give 'em jobs. Improve relations. It's a win-win."

Their voices trailed off as they wandered away. Link tuned his senses to his surroundings--above, below, and to the sides--all eyes and ears open. He could not be caught.

Link treaded across the outer curtain battlements, keeping his body low. He was on the east side now. If he could get to the south wall, the tower would give him a safe haven.

First, he had to swing across the rope banner connecting two wall abutments. There was a longer way, but it would put him in a perfect place to get spotted. Link grabbed the rope and swung hand over hand across.

No one shouted out. He swung back on the other side and huddled his body close to the wall. If he had something else to wear than his green tunic, he could blend better. He should have worn a black outfit for this. Heck, he should wear something different now that he was older. But he just couldn't see himself in anything but the Kokiri garb he'd grown up with.

Besides, it wasn't like he ever planned these excursions. How many times had he done this now, sneaking in at all hours of the evening and leaving before daybreak?

Before it had only been... maybe once a month. Then once every few weeks. Now he was doing it every night. The king's guards could be getting suspicious of his frequent presence around the castle. Then again, he was a close friend of the princess.

"What was that?"

Damn. Link zipped between a pillar and the wall. He'd been so lost in his thoughts...

A guard's armor jingled as its owner jogged over. His yellow lantern cast the pillar's shadow on the wall.

"I swear..." the guard said, swinging his light around. Link stayed dead silent. Only the whisper of the wind sounded.

Just don't breathe. He'll go away eventually. He'll get bored and continue on his way.

Clink. The hilt of his sword brushed against the stone.

"Ah," the guard rushed forward. "Now I've got-"

In the dark, the guard couldn't see that both Link's fists were closed.

Link threw one hand forward and dropped something on the ground. The phosphors and magnesium in the Deku nut exploded in a blinding flash. Link, knowing what to expect, had closed his eyes. The guard ended up looking directly into the localized light, bright as the sun for a split second.

As the Deku nut flashed, Link spun around the pillar, ending up behind the guard. He brought down his other hand, which held his boomerang. It clanged against his helmet.

The guard wobbled and sagged to the ground, unconscious. Link waited a few seconds. When the guard didn't stir, Link ran away.

Damn, damn, damn. At least the guard wouldn't be able to report seeing anything. He'd think he fell asleep on the job and keep this incident to himself. At worst, they'd report an unconfirmed sighting.

Link ran as fast as he could in silence and stopped under the tower. He locked the hookshot on his arm and fired. The chained spear sailed in a straight line through a thin window meant for firing arrows from, and dug in somewhere beyond.

Link released the trigger. The chain retracted and he flew up. The hookshot dragged him up to the stone ledge of the window. Link had to squeeze through. He landed on soft carpet in a pitch black room.

Now that he was here, he breathed out a sigh of relief. No more danger, at least for a while. He unbuckled his belt and let his sword and items fall on the floor.


A gas lantern flickered to life. Link looked towards the source, startled.

"God, I thought you'd never come," said Zelda. She sat up in bed, a lace nightie hanging off her shoulders.

Link stood there. "It's getting tougher and tougher to sneak in. I almost got caught this time." He continued disrobing, moving onto his boots. Without his belt on, he looked like he was in a short dress.

Zelda reached for a hairbrush on her table and combed through a rough patch in her blond tresses. "I heard they might be conducting some night drills for the new trainees."

"Thanks for telling me. Could've helped a bit."

"You got through, didn't you? Just hurry up, I've been waiting for this all day."

Link pulled off his jerkin and the chain-mail hauberk underneath. There was a trail of clothing behind him, leading to Zelda's bed. "Excuse me, princess. I didn't know we were on a schedule."

"Well, you took all night to get here."

Link stood bare-chested before her and huffed. As he took off his white leggings, he thought of how much fun this wasn't. Waiting around the castle for nightfall, sneaking in, getting berated for it. Only the act itself was fun. And then, only on a purely biological level.

"Sorry," Zelda said. "Today was a bad day. The conference about taxation of new farmland went on forever this morning. I was bored the whole time. I had nothing to contribute. I didn't get a midday meal until fourteen o'clock. And then after that..." Her tone grew agitated. She shook her head. "Never mind. I don't care. Just get in here."

Link stood before her, completely naked. His still limp cock swung back and forth as he bent over and crawled into the bed.

Zelda wrapped an arm around his neck and kissed him chastely. As soon as Link started kissing back, she relaxed and let him in. Link rubbed his tongue over hers. The intimacy felt forced, part of an itinerary.

"Are you going to take your nightie off?" Link said.

"You take it off," Zelda whispered.

Link grimaced. She was trying to be sexy, but he got an impression of laziness. He clutched the bottom of her chiff with one hand and hoisted it over her head. Zelda raised her arms to help him. She snuggled her warm, pearl-smooth skin against his muscular body, pressing her breasts pressed against his chest. Link caressed her tight calves and thighs.

"What's wrong?" Zelda asked.

"Nothing. I'm just tired. I'm sorry." Link found new energy and kissed her back passionately. He rubbed the side of her breasts and moved his hand down to her blond pubic patch. Zelda moaned.

Link buried his face in her neck. She smelled of lavender. They ground back and forth rhythmically, lying parallel. Zelda's arms wrapped around his neck. Link used one hand for support and another for rubbing the flesh between her legs.

"Mmm," Zelda grunted. They writhed together, neither one of them moving onto the next step. Her cunt slowly moistened until it was as slippery as soap. His own member stiffened.

Zelda shifted her hips forward into his sliding hand. "Aaaaaaah."

He moved his arm over and placed a hand on her breast. He tweaked her pale pink nipple.

"Ow," Zelda said. "What are you doing?"

"Sorry," Link whispered. "I thought... never mind."

Link had just wanted to try something new. Oh well. They continued kissing, until Link felt it was time to move on. He wriggled on top of her, dropping most of his weight on her body.

She parted her thighs and shuffled down the bed until he could feel her vagina nudging his prick, encouraging him in. Finally, the foreplay was over with. Link slid his thick head into her. He felt her pelvis spasm as he moved in deeper.

"Mmmm," Zelda said.

Link grunted low as he banged his hips into her, over and over. "Ah, ah, ah," Zelda uttered with each thrust. The slight swath of her ass teased against his ballsack. Her subtle flowery smell wafted into his face.

"Unh, unh, unh, unnnnh," Link grunted with each succeeding thrust. Zelda lay there and moaned, her eyes closed, lost in the rapture. Link looked down at her disdainfully. She was deriving such pleasure from his advances. He wished she would do more than just lie there and take it.

Link felt his threshold approaching, like an overflowing river approaching a dam. Zelda was close too--her screams were getting louder and faster. "Ungh." Link let out a satisfied groan as he pushed further into her cleft, sinking in up to the hilt.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, AH." Zelda's cheeks blossomed into a rosy tinge. The sound of her getting off let loose Link's own floodgates. For one of the first times tonight, he began to vocalize, grunting harder and harder.

"Ungh, ungh, unnnnnn..." Link let loose inside her, filling her womb with hot spunk. A fiery warmth enveloped his cock as their juices mixed together.

Link collapsed on top of her. Zelda let her arms go loose and relaxed on the bed. "Phew," he said and rolled off.

Zelda immediately sat up and grabbed a handkerchief from her nightstand. She used it to wipe up the fluids dripping out of her vulva. Once finished, she walked out of the bed and disposed of it in the chamber pot. The moonlight reflected her slender, white body. She didn't look like a princess nude, but she looked like something more than a regular girl.

Link watched her with his head on the pillow.

Link woke to sunlight on his face. He was still naked in Zelda's bed. She was snuggled up to him, spooning. His arm was draped over her back.

He must have fallen asleep. Usually, he left before daybreak, just in case someone came in with rushing news or morning routines. But apparently, no one was worried about that right now. Otherwise, Zelda would have woken him up.

Link snuggled up to her. This was nice, just the two of them. There was no one that needed them, just each other.

Moving in closer must have woken her up. She stirred and turned over to him. "Morning. You fell right asleep last night."

"I was tired, I guess."

"You should get going, before anyone comes in."

Link pulled back the covers. Zelda had returned to her evening gown, while Link was still undignifingly nude. "Where is everyone?"

"I don't know. But you'd better get your clothes on."

Despite Zelda's threats, Link sat on the edge of the bed and stretched.

"I'm still so tired," Zelda said, still in bed.

"Am I going to be able to see you today?" Link put on his underwear and undershirt.

"I don't know. Today's going to be busy again. Another taxation meeting. Then we're receiving the baron of Unolai today and the duke of Talbain tomorrow. I guess you can come to that, if you want."

"No, I'll probably just go out in the field. Look for trouble. There are still some cursed Skulltulas out there."

"The weatherseid said it's supposed to rain this evening."

Link to a moment to register what that statement meant. Or rather the absence of anything additional. No 'Be careful, Link'. No 'if it rains, I'll leave the light on for you'. No 'take an umbrella, just in case'.

"Don't worry about me. Plenty of trees I can duck under out there."

Zelda opened her chifforobe and pulled out her undergarments. She put on a pair of lacy silk panties and a solid white bra. It kept her chest high and tight, with only modest cleavage--a practical bra. A princess couldn't seem showy or alluring. Any natural beauty she displayed had to be modest, restrained.

"It must be great out there," Zelda said. "It's so hard without Impa here anymore. I turn eighteen, and she thinks I can take care of myself now. So she goes on a journey to find her people. And father's been shifting so many responsibilities on me."

"It's not that great anymore. With Ganondorf gone, the thrills are drying up. The biggest thing out there is a Peahat. And they only attack to protect their young."

"It's like I don't get any rest anymore. That's why I need these... visits. It takes me away from everything."

Link had just finished putting his jerkin on. He was about to say something when the door clicked.

Acting on warrior instincts, Link slid under the bed and disappeared. Thankfully, he was completely dressed. The door opened. "Madame Princess," called a female voice.

"I'm here," Zelda said with a slight tremble in her voice. "I'm awake. Just getting dressed."

"Oh, good. Your breakfast should be ready any moment."

All Link could see were feet treading back and forth across the wood floor. He could use Farore's Wind to escape, but the flash of magic might be noticed. A second pair of feet entered--black shoes and tight velvet pants, belonging to a foppish man.

"There's been a change for today. The baron of Unolai is arriving today, not tomorrow."

"What? Today? What about the taxation meeting?" Zelda said.

"It's been moved. Or you're no longer attending. Either way. The king felt it was more important that you were able to receive the baron."

More suitors. Zelda was of marrying age now, single, and the highest ruling class in Hyrule. Anyone who felt he had a claim to royalty--landowners, military captains, the wealthy--was beating down the drawbridge to entreat her hand. Link clenched his fist and-

His sword!

His belt and scabbard were still somewhere in the room. Probably out in the open, wherever he had dropped it last night. Where was it? Hanging off a chair? On the floor? If anyone saw it...

"His lordship's entourage will be here at noon and he shall leave in the morning before the duke arrives. Hopefully, they won't meet in the field. I'd hate to see that scuffle."

"Indeed," Zelda sighed. A gown fell over her feet. She was putting on her clothes for the morning.

"I take it none of them catches your fancy?"

"No, not yet," replied Zelda. "I will let you know when one does."

"Hm," the dandy said, "Well, do let us know soon. There are only so many men of worthy blood in the kingdom."

Link's own 'unworthy' blood boiled at this remark. Hyrule was vast, but the number of candidates to choose from was limited. She couldn't marry into another race like the Zora or the Gorons. The Kokiri were all children and the Gerudo were all female.

People were moving all over the room. How had they not found his sword yet? Then he heard a quiet 'eep!' Whose voice was that?

No one said anything. Feet continued shifting around the bed. "Stella," Zelda said. "I want to wear my broach today. The one high up there on the shelf. And Mardro, be a dear and fetch me some tea."

"But your breakfast should be ready-"

"I want it with my breakfast. Instead of milk. Deku leaf tea. One sugar please. And make sure they get it right. I'm not in a mood to be trifled with today."

"Yes, your highness," Mardro said. The man's dainty feet scuttled out of the room.

Link had been with Zelda long enough to know the tones of her voice. Right now, she was being deceitful, but he couldn't figure out why. Then she tiptoed towards a chair. His belt and scabbard fell on the floor.

She kicked it under the bed, almost smashing Link in the face. Link tucked the sword under his stomach.

"Never mind, Stella," Zelda said. "Let's just get this day started. The sooner it will be over with."

Zelda's feet walked around the bed and disappeared. Another set of fatter feet followed and the door closed.

Link waited thirty seconds in dead silence, just to make sure. He rolled out from under the bed, attached his belt, and flew out the window.

True to Zelda's word, the rain started as soon as Link was deep in Hyrule field. The rain suited his mood.

The more he thought about Zelda, the more he realized how unfair life was. They were connected through bonds stronger than any normal person could have. And yet, they couldn't be together, because no one knew the truth about what happened.

Zelda was being groomed for a life of royalty. Link was still a commoner. They treated him like Zelda's occasional playmate--a companion always hanging around the palace, a wannabe that Zelda allowed into her life. But they never treated him as the boy who saved Hyrule from apocalyptic destruction. Only he and the seven sages knew what truly transpired.

The rain matured from a light sprinkling to a downpour, too heavy to walk around in. Link's clothes became soaked and burdensome. He had to find shelter, but there were no trees nearby.

Lon Lon Ranch's peculiar stone wall loomed over the horizon and Link made a beeline for it. He stood under the large pine tree before the entrance and shook himself off. It wasn't completely dry, but the rain had to filter through the whorls of branches before it reached.

Link squeezed out his green cap and shivered. The rain was pouring in sheets now, and the clouds were so dark he could barely see.

"EEEEEK!" came a cry from within the ranch.

That was a girl's voice. The only girl in Lon Lon Ranch was...


Link raced through the archway, past the stables, and up to the corral. His soaked boots squished with water. Lightning cracked. He spotted a cluster of figures at the other end of the pasture, some of them horses...

...One of them, a Poe.

The lightning illuminated its glowing lantern and silken shroud. The horses clamored and reared up. Link sprinted forward. As he got closer, he could see a petite figure between the horses and the ghost.

Malon swung a stick at the Poe. "Back! Get back! Get out of here!" She stumbled and cried out in pain, like she had hurt herself.

The Poe hissed and swung his lantern at her. Malon shrieked and hopped back on one leg. The lantern clapped against her stick.

Link ran as fast as he could through the tempest, his boots squishing in mud. He started to grab his bow. No, the rain was too heavy, too dark to use it. He might hit something other than the Poe. Same story with the hookshot. What then? He wasn't close enough for anything, except...

The Poe swooped in mid-air. The horses behind Malon whinnied with terror and trotted behind Malon, threatening to trample her.

Link pulled out the Ocarina of Time. He'd never tried this before, but he didn't have much choice. He put the mouthpiece between his lips and blew.

The piercing whistle of the Song of Healing penetrated the staccato of rain. The Poe froze in mid-air, its lantern raised. It turned toward the sound and stared into Link's soul with its ochre eyes.

The lantern light faded and winked out. The Poe rose up into the sky and vanished.

He'd never seen that happen before. The lantern contained the Poe's soul. Link always had to break it open in combat. Then a burst of flames would surround the ghost as it shrunk to vapors. Maybe he'd found a new way to stop them.

Link put his ocarina away and approached Malon. The horses had calmed down and meandered around in the rain. Malon stood hunched over, breathing in and out, as the rain pelted her.

"Are you okay?"

"Who's that? Fairy boy?" She peered through the darkness. "It is you!" Malon started forward and fell into his arms. "Ow! My ankle's hurt. I think I sprained it."

"What happened?" Link said.

"That Poe came in and scared the horses. I tried to fend him off. I guess you saved me. Hee hee!" She peered up at him in the rain with her big blue eyes.

"You're soaked," he said.

"Yeah, so are you," she said.

"Yes, but my legs work. Come on, we have to get you dry."

"But the horses," she said. "I can't leave them out in the rain."

Link bit his lip. There was no way he was going to let her run in a downpour with a sprained ankle. "I'll do it," Link said.

"You know how to handle horses?"

"Yeah, I've got some experience. Don't worry about it."

Link looked back toward the barn and farmhouse. They were about as far as you could get and still be inside the ranch. But the shed nearby would work.

He swooped Malon up in his arms. She shrieked with delight as Link started towards the door.

"I always did want to be swept away." She slipped her wet arms around his neck.

"This rain's going to sweep us away, unless we get out of it." Link shouldered the door and opened the knob with his free hand. "Where's Talon?"

"He's down in Gerudo Valley trying to negotiate some cattle. And I don't know where Ingo is."

The scent of molding hay and wood hit him in a humid wave. He placed Malon on a nearby crate. She wrung out her long, wet, red hair. Water splashed on the ground.

"Wow, thanks. It's really pouring out there."

"Is your ankle okay?" Link asked.

"I'll be fine. Just take care of the horses. I don't know if you can do it. They don't like strangers."

"Don't worry about me. Just stay here."

Link walked back into the torrential rain and shut the door. The horses trotted around stupidly, still skittish from the adrenaline.

Link pulled out the ocarina again and played a simple, meandering song, like a lullaby. The same song Malon always sang.

The horses perked up. They stopped in their tracks and trotted towards him. Link marched towards the stables, still playing the melody. The horses followed him, each hoof splashing into the mud. It reminded Link of the Bremen Mask, something he hadn't thought of in six years.

"There you go," Link said, as he stood beside the barn door. The horses stepped into the dry stable. Link shut the door and placed the cross bar on the uprights.

The storm mellowed as he sloshed back to the shed. Poor Malon. Left all alone to manage the ranch? Link gritted his teeth at the irresponsibility of her guardians. Talon probably fell asleep before he'd even started back to the ranch. And Ingo was probably gambling in Castle Town.

Link opened the door to the shed. Malon stood there in pantaloons and a bra. Her body glistened from water. She had her dress in her hands, wringing it out on the wood floor. Her wet hair rained down her shoulders down to her cow-patterned brassiere.

She looked up. Her cheeks turned a rosy tinge.

"Oh. Hi. Sorry. I thought you'd take longer." She stood up straight.

Link's cheeks turned red as well. Malon's breasts were much bigger than she let on. The bra pressed them together so they looked mountainous. Her country dress did a good job of hiding her shapely body.

"That's... that's okay," Link said.

"Do you like my bra?" Malon looked down at her chest. "I had it made special. I thought it was appropriate, you know? It's real cowhide. Pretty comfortable too."

Now that he had permission, Link examined it closely. He could see the short fuzz and the thickness, like Malon needed a stronger material to keep her breasts up.

Malon approached the window, still topless. "Wow, you did it. You got them all in."

"Yeah, it's still pouring out there. I'd stay in here until the rain lets up."

"Will you stay with me?"

"Well... I guess so." Zelda could go without him for one night.

"Good. My leg still hurts. And I'm all alone here." She limped back to the crate and sat down.

Link picked up her dress. "You don't want to..."

"No. Not unless you want me to," she giggled.

Link shrugged and hung the dress on a hook.

"I'm a farm girl," Malon said. "We're not shy about that sort of thing. You lose your sense of modesty when you've been shoveling cow manure for three hours."

The rain looked a long way from ending so he lit a lantern and joined Malon on the crates.

"Do Talon and Ingo leave you alone like this all the time?"

"Sometimes. Daddy's trying to drum up some more business now that Hyrule's more peaceful. I think he wants to make sure I'm okay when he leaves the ranch to me. And Ingo? Pfft," she waved her hand. "Who cares? He should be grateful he still has a job."

"You got that right," Link said.

"Dad takes pity on him. But all he does is whine about how much work he has to do. Then he gambles it all away."

Malon bent down to examine her leg. Link couldn't help but notice her canyon cleavage.

"Mm, does it look like it's starting to swell?"

Link couldn't see very well in the lantern light, so he knelt in front of her. Malon held out her leg to him and hiked up her pant leg to give him better access. Link took it in his hands. Her skin felt smooth and cool, like cream.

He ran her hands up and down her calf. Link's face flushed, but this was a hero's duty, to help people. "Does that hurt?"

"No, but it feels good," she hummed.

Link rubbed her leg up and down, wringing the fatigue and pain out, like squeezing a towel.

Malon uttered a low, breathy moan. Her hand moved to the top of her breasts and caressed them. She looked like she wasn't in the room anymore.

Link suddenly felt uncomfortable. He cleared his throat.

"Oh, sorry. I got carried away. Tee hee," Malon said. "It gets lonely here, you know. Ever since I was a kid I had this dream that a knight in shining armor would come and sweep me off my feet."

"Yeah, I think I heard that somewhere," Link said.

"The only boy I ever see regularly besides Dad is Ingo." She playfully shuddered. "And you. You come by sometimes."

Link looked up at her. She had a warm smile and big eyes. And she still had her fingers draped over the crevice made by her cow-patterned bra.

He stood up. "Listen, I'd better go." Thank god the rain was letting up. "There's, um... I better make sure everything's all right out there."

"That's okay. My ankle's feeling much better." Malon said. "Could you come back again tomorrow, to check on me? Just to make sure I didn't get eaten by a Poe?"

"Sure," Link nodded. There wouldn't be any harm in that.

Link opened the shed into the drizzle and left the ranch.


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