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Shadow of Destiny: The script of sarcasm	By : Shenai Category: -Misc Video Games/RPGs > Walkthroughs/Hints/Spoilers Views: 1697 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the game that this fanfiction is written for, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
Disclaimer: Okay, I really have been lying this whole time. Shadow of Destiny does belong to me. And if anyone else wants to use it, I�m gonna need a little compensation. (Rubs fingers together.) They say that life is tit for tat and that�s the way I live, so I deserve a lot of tat, for what I�ve got to give. (Holds out hands to accept money when she is brutally reprimanded by Konami.) I was only collecting it for you! Honest!

Ending D.

(This is one of the endings you get if you don�t tell Mary Sue that you think that she is your ancestress. But to backtrack a little; when Eike talks to Wolfy in his basement there is a little addition to the end of their conversation. I shall write that in now.)

Wolfy: Now, take care.

Eike: Okay... (Oh God, that sounded lame. He turns to go, walks up to the wall of the stairs and seems to think of something. He stops and turns around.) Sir, I just thought of something. (See? What did I tell ya?)

Wolfy: (Amazed that Eike could formulate a thought in his teensy little brain.) ...What is it?

Eike: Maybe you should draw a pentagram or something. For protection, just in case. (...Oh NO EIKE!! You did not just do what I think you just did!!! I�M GONNA KILL YOU, I SWEAR TO GOD I�M GOING TO REACH RIGHT INTO THAT TELEVISION SCREEN AND YANK OFF YOUR WANKER BLONDE HEAD YOU MOTHER [Content removed due to gratious course language, extreme violence and sexual implications] HOW DARE YOU THINK TO DO THAT I HOPE YOU [Content removed due to gratious course language, extreme violence and sexual implications] IN HELL, YOU STUPID [Content removed due to gratious course language, extreme violence and sexual implications] AND YOU CAN GO AND [Content removed due to gratious course language, extreme violence and sexual implications] WITH YOUR DOG!!!

....

....

....

(This is Akito. Wallbug has taken Shenai to the lounge room for a while until she calms down, therefore duty has fallen to me to finish writing this. I think it is for the best, considering it will probably end with a Homy death sequence and she couldn�t even handle watching the one in ending A, let alone writing it. Still... I don�t see why I should suffer. I have better things to do with my time. Like hanging out the window, or sleeping, or writing, or having sex, or... .... Okay, I�ve run out of options... Anyway, let�s get back to the script shall we?)

#^$&%*^*^%&$^%(^%)&_(*_(&_^%%$^&%(&^ytiuh(*^%*$^(*^(_&*&^!!!*o ^*)^ *^*^( &^ %^%^&^)(*^&(*)& p ypy)(&**&^d&_ &*) ^* (_^*^*&%^(*^(*&^ %*& ^*^&_(*_^&(_^* Shenai get off the keyboard!!! (&(*^&$#$##(*+_)()(&*^&$%%$^%*&^( &* &%^%&^E$#%$ #@ !@! @ $#%%$^% %$ #&(&^_(*^ &%$ @@ %^& &*^ HG)D^ DF *)&( %^%$$!!!

It�s alright. I gave her some of my medication. She�ll be out for hours now. We shall now return to the script.)

Eike: - It is a dangerous experiment, after all...

Wolfy: I will certainly do so. I thank you for your concern. Your youth belies your thoughtfulness; I cannot help but envy it. (Doesn�t hurt that they guy is tall, blonde and scrummy either, now does it?) Look at me�I have grown old in my laboratory. (I did notice that. Glad you finally have old chap.) Ah, youth... (Says this in a general "I�m going to rape you, little boy" way as he stares off into nowhere. I am afraid for all small children in the vicinity, particularly Hugo and Eike.) Forgive me, I must not lapse into self-pity.

Eike: (Stares for a while, wondering what being senile must be like. He is already halfway there after all.) I�ll be seeing you...

(Scene ends and is all the same up until the �Final Boss battle� with Hugo.)

(Eike strides up to Hugo, who repositions the blade closer to Mary Sue�s throat. Oh yeah, whose your daddy now?)

Black Hugo: I�m going to make Mother. Just like Homy made Father with his Supernatural Oven for Cooking up People TM. (Okay, I lied. The actual line is; "Just like Father made Homunculus...") The only difference is that I haven�t got a Philosopher�s Stone. (We get a bit of fanservice here as the camera pans behind Eike, or to be precise, pans on Eike�s behind.) That�s why I�m going to use Homunculus ($1000) instead. (This is the stuff of horror movies everywhere.)

Mary Sue: (After way too long a silence. Oops game designers.) H-Hugo!? What do your think you�re�

Black Hugo: Sis, stay out of this, will you? You�re a hostage, you�re supposed to be quiet! (He gets points with me for that one. What do you know? The little psychopath has a sense of humor!)

Eike: (Also after way too long a silence. WTF? Is this all reused footage or something?) Don�t go there, Hugo. Your father would agree...

Black Hugo: (Snappily) What about my father?

Eike: He said you might do something like attempt to bring Helena back from the dead. And he also said that he would burn all the records once this experiment was completed, to make sure you wouldn�t.

Black Hugo: (Tosses his head smugly. Homy would be so proud.) Oh, really. In that case, why were the papers safe and sound? Even though Father himself had disappeared into thin air.

Eike: I wouldn�t know the reason for that. (Why am I not surprised?)

Black Hugo: I have to do this. We still need to be a family. (Um... hello? Your father�s gone, it won�t be much of a family without him you idiot! Not that he did much when he was there, I must confess.) That�s why I�m going to make Mother, and we can all be happy again. (And there�ll be fluffy little woodland animals frolicking about in nice green fields, and pretty rainbows and pink furry bunnies floating around on puffy white clouds. Jesus Christ, I don�t fucking think so!) And that�s why I need that stone. (I don�t know about you kid, but right now what I need is to be stoned. That way I might be able to make it through the rest of this recap.) Get it? (Points the knife at Eike.) Come on! Get Homunculus! ($1000.) (The way he says it, makes it sound as though he�s telling Eike to start dancing or something. Like, �Get jiggy with it!� or something.)

Mary Sue: Hugo... (This prompts me to stab myself repeatedly in the head with a dull pencil.) I can work for both of us, so that we don�t want for anything. (What I want is a nice big skillet.) We�ll be okay, you�ll see. So please, stop this madness. Make Mother? Just listen to what you�re suggesting...

(Black Hugo turns to face her, with an even scarier expression on his face than the ones I pulled in episode 26 all rolled into one. I�d be frightened if I were this Mary Sue. Though thankfully, I�m not.)

Black Hugo: (Simpering.) Sis, if you won�t be quiet, I�ll have to hurt you. (Oh please do! It would be the best Christmas present anyone�s ever given me!) Don�t make me do that. (Well, it�s not like she�s capable of being quiet, so it�s a bit of a no brainer really.)

Mary Sue: (Gasps.) Hugo...!

Black Hugo: You know I can�t stand blood. (Oh yeah baby. That�ll learn �er.) (He looks at her pointedly, whilst Eike just stares in the background. Then he says the most stupid line ever, that had absolutely no bearing whatsoever on the situation at hand.)

Eike: You want to raise the dead??

(Okay, so maybe it did. But not whilst Hugo�s threatening Mary Sue; the love interest for crying out loud, with painful bloody mutilation. What a dickhole.)

Black Hugo: (Thinking precisely the same thing.) The stone let father create Homunculus. ($1000.) That means this has to work too. I can do it, I know... So come one, go get him.

Eike: (Wondering why he doesn�t get paid a thou every time he says Homy�s name.) Homunculus just can�t be�(Sighs) He always just appears out of nowhere. It has nothing to do with what I want. Yes, he saved my life, but that�s about it. It just isn�t possible for me to call him up. (Whinily.) You�ve got to understand.

Black Hugo: (Bored.) No excuses. If you don�t do what I tell you, I�ll leave my sister here and go home. (We have already established this. Eike�s thought pattern: Hugo leaves and goes home. Mary Sue stays her in 21^st century with me... Processing... Outcome: That�s bad!) That�s going to affect this age in a lot of ways... I can�t even begin to imagine how much.

Eike: (Looking unhappy for obvious reasons.) That�s a dirty move...!

Black Hugo: Come on, hurry up. I�ll give you twenty minutes. (Excuse me while I take a toilet break..

Okay, I�m back! The scene fades out on Eike�s perturbed expression and then you get the choice of going back to the 1500�s to eradicate the notes. I just gave away what happens. Oh well, read on and furthermore shall be revealed! Oh and for the record, I love how Homy never actually makes an appearance before Hugo. If he did, Hugo would probably do what all people who are subjected to the sight of Homy do; fall madly in love with him.)

(Back in the 1500�s.)

(Eike enters the Wagner Wanker house and looks around at all the smoking debris.)

Eike: I guess�Hugo isn�t here yet. (Gee, give the guy a fucking award. DUH EKE IS 2 SOOPER SM4RT PUD31ING!!)

(Scene fade out and the player must progress down to the basement. Once there, you have to pick up some notes that are farting out green gas. The following scene occurs.)

Eike: (Picking up notes.) Hey, this is... Dr. Wagner�s research data.... (Flips through the pages. Good thing it wasn�t his diary or something because I don�t think Eike�s all that concerned with privacy.) This is all about Homunculus. Composition... method of creation... (Sounds kind of kinky. Shenai wants a copy of these notes.) That�s it! What if Hugo never reads this stuff!? Without the Homunculus data, Hugo would never attempt to recreate his mother... Come to think of it, if he never learns of Homunculus�s existence, he wouldn�t want revenge... No revenge, no time machine... (I love the way Eike�s itty bitty brain works.) I feel bad for Dr. Wagner, but I�ve got to get rid of this part. (Part? What, did he find a piece of Wolfy�s body on the floor or something? Do I even wanna know?)

(A door slams upstairs.)

Mary Sue: Hugo, wait up.

(The camera shows their feet as they come down the stairs.)

Hugo: Hurry up!

Eike: Hugo!? He�s back? (No. It was just Mary Sue pretending to be both him and her at the same time. She�s an amazing ventriloquist, amongst her many talents.)

(Eike quickly dashes over to the lit stove and throws the notes onto the flames. They immediately catch fire as is to be expected with paper.)

Hugo: Father!! (Since when was Eike Hugo�s father. ...Actually, now that I think about this ending... sorry. To say any more would be telling.)

Mary Sue: Father! (They come down the stairs to see Eike staring at the kiln, much like Wolfy did whilst stirring his soup. Eike turns around to face them as they enter, trying to bat his eyelashes as innocently as Homy did.)

Hugo: (Not noticing.) Eike! What are you doing here?

Eike: Oh, ah�Dr. Wagner said to meet him here. (Walks over to the stairs as the other two wander down.)

Mary Sue: They told us... they told us that there was a huge explosion, so we...

Eike: I-ah, (Lying badly.) I actually just got here too. I didn�t see Dr. Wagner...

Mary Sue: Ah... we were so worried... We thought he may be lying here hurt or�anyway, I guess it�s a good sign that he isn�t here, right?

(Eike looks back towards the kiln.)

Hugo: (Who has been staring at it for the last minute.) What are you burning?

Eike: Oh... just a witch. Nothing to worry about. (Okay, I made that up. Still, it�s more believable then his response.) Oh, ah, that? Nothing�nothing important. (He and Hugo eye each other off for a moment, until Hugo gets bashful and relaxes his, until now, furrowed brows.)

Hugo: Okay then...

(Eike turns his head, looking very, very guilty as Hugo turns back to Mary Sue.)

Hugo: So Sis, where could Father�

Mary Sue: Well, we�ll go take a look around. (Nods at Eike.) I�m sorry, but we have to go out for a while. We�ll talk soon. (Please God, no.)

Eike: (Way too cheerful. God, he couldn�t lie to save his life.) Okay. Take care of yourselves. (Mary Sue nods and goes up the stairs. Hugo waves at Eike.)

Hugo: See you around. (Eike waves too as Hugo follows his sister back up the stairs. As soon as he disappears around the corner, Eike visibly relaxes and turns his attention towards some of Wolfy�s books that are lying around. The scene fades out and then you have to go back to the future. So, we do. Eike reappears infront of Mr. Eckart�s house for God knows what reason and you have to run him all the way back to the Square. Once there, another scene takes place.)

Eike: (Looking around a corner out into the Square. He can see Hugo standing before Mary Sue who is sitting on one of the benches surrounding the ugly butt statue of Eike. And no, Hugo has not got his pants unzipped you sick bastards. Jesus, you�re disgusting.) What the--!! Hugo�s still... here? Wasn�t it enough just to burn the research data?

(The scene fades out and we get a bit of Omake Theatre as the scene shifts back to Wolfy�s lab in the 1500�s. Hugo and Mary Sue head down the stairs, obviously having zero luck finding old dadio.)

Mary Sue: He�s nowhere to be found... where could Father be?

Hugo: (Looking over at the kiln.)

Mary Sue: Hugo? What is it?

Hugo: (Strides over as the camera focuses on the burning remains of the notes. Some of the writing is still legible.) Just wondering... I mean, what could he have been burning...? (Picks the notes up by his fingertips and gently shaking them off. The scene fades out on him looking at them and then the action shifts back to the 21^st century. Eike walks into the Square, shoulder�s hunched and looking as though he just got caught licking the sugar off of the cookie. Hugo notices and spins around to face him.)

Black Hugo: Didn�t I tell you to bring Homunculus?!! ($1000) He repositions the blade next to Mary Sue again, in case Eike has forgotten that pointy objects can lethally harm human beings.)

Eike: (Stands there with a look on his face as though he�s about to start singing Soprano. That or take a very large dump.)

Black Hugo: If you won�t do what I say, I�ll... (Suddenly clutches his head and staggers backwards. Maybe Mary Sue looked him right in the eye.) Ugh!! (His voice is all echoey and he reels back, clutching his skull and seemingly in agony. Konami likes making him suffer I notice. After all, they did give him Mary Sue as his sister.)

Mary Sue: Hugo!? (Preparing to leap up. As though he needs anymore pain right now.)

Eike: (Opens his mouth a bit as though he�s air kissing and the scene goes black. More Omake Theatre back in the 1500�s.)

Hugo: (Trying to make out the writing on the notes.) Dis-Distilla�tion... something... and... with...?

(Scene switches back to the 21^st century showing Hugo staggering around with Mary Sue watching on in the background. Hugo starts to fade, his body becoming less solid so that the buildings behind him are visible through him.)

Black Hugo: Ug... urgh!! (The knife falls through his hand which is no longer solid enough to grasp it. Does this sound dirty to anyone else?) W-what�s happening to me...! (At this point he looks rather ghosty, and has almost completely faded.)

Eike: What the--!?

(Omake theatre: Back to the 1500�s.)

(Hugo is gazing at the notes as though they are the most beautiful thing he�s ever seen. It�s like he�s never even heard of Homy before. As he looks at them lovingly, Mary Sue wanders over curiously to see what has sparked his romantic interest.)

Mary Sue: Hugo, what are you doing?

Hugo: (Reading from the notes like an actor from Days of Our lives says their lines.) Something...method. It�s not good, I can�t read this.

Mary Sue: (Taking the notes from him.) Are you done looking at that rubbish? (Without waiting for a reply, she throws them back onto the flames where it quite happily re-ignites. This makes little sense, seeing as how it should have still been burning when Hugo picked it up before and shouldn�t�Ah, what the hell. I should stop expecting this game to make sense.)

Hugo: (Horrified that Mary Sue has just burnt his future bride.) Hey!

(Hugo proceeds to put on the guilt trip, gazing sadly at the burning paper like Ayame whenever he finds a Shigure/Hatori fanfic. Yeah, pretty much devastated. Mary Sue however, doesn�t give a fuck about Hugo�s feelings, because hey, it�s not like it�s her feelings.)

Mary Sue: Oh, please. You said yourself that it was too burnt to make out. (Hugo just continues to mope.) Anyway, we have something more important to do now, right? I think Eike�s out there looking for father too. (Well, he�d like you to think so, honey.)

(Mary Sue starts to walk back towards the stairs, whilst Hugo keeps watching the burning notes sadly. Oh Jesus christ, you�d think it was his Father being burnt alive on the kiln. Oh wait, I forgot. He�s a Mommy�s boy.)

Mary Sue: (Turns back annoyed.) Come on, we can�t let him do all the work, can we?

Hugo: ...Yeah. Guess you�re right. (This may seem a little beside the point... but did people really use the word, �Yeah� back then? I can�t really imagine it... this is the only example I�ve seen it used in of that particular time... )
Quiz 12: Was �Yeah� ever used back in the 1500�s?

Yeah...

Nah...

Dunno.

Who cares?

Only by Hugo. He was ahead of the times.

(Having finally got through to Hugo�s angsty head, Mary Sue heads out of shot (to my relief) and Hugo takes one last lingering look at the burning pages before he follows her. The camera pans in on the notes, in case we�re all drooling idiots who couldn�t figure out that they were, duh, on fire and then the scene fades out. End Omake theatre.)

(Meanwhile back in the 21^st century Hugo is still fading away from existence. I can just hear Eike humming; "Mr. Cellophane" in the background. Even though Hugo has already been through several horrific experiences, he still can�t resist being wanktasitcally dramatic in this one. Hey, I think he�s earned the right, don�t you?)

Black Hugo: Damn it... What�what went wrong... (Gazes at his fading limbs as his voice goes all echoey and ghost like.) What did I... do... to deserve... (Clutches his chest. Oh yes, bring in the Oscar.) (Hugo screams as he fades away completely. Mary Sue jumps to her feet, tens of seconds too late and tries to embrace him. Fortunately for Hugey-boy, he got away just in the nick of time. Wherever the Hell it was he got away to, I�m sure it�s better then Mary Sue�s arms. And by extension, her bosom.)

Mary Sue: Hugo! (Supposedly distressed, though the voice actress does a shitey job of conveying it.) HUGO!!!

(Eike suddenly runs on screen from the right and grabs her by the shoulders. I hope he�s about to throttle her to death, but sadly enough this is his dumb way of comforting her. Dipshittington.)

Eike: Hugo�s all right.

Mary Sue: What?

Eike: I SAID �HUGO�S ALL RIGHT� ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF??!! (No, that was just me. Sorry.) The past�s been changed. That�s why...

Mary Sue: What do you mean? What�s going on? (Wow... the intelligence in this conversation is staggering.) Hugo�(Grabs Eike by the front of his jacket and shakes him a little. I�m sure he feels threatened.) what happened to Hugo? Answer me!?

Eike: (Using the voice a parent uses when their kids about to have a needle.) It�s all right, everything�s OK. (Mellow out dude... here, puff on the geniebong here and you�ll see... it�s all good...)

Mary Sue: (As she starts going all fuzzy. No, not in the teddy bear type way, the fading away from existence way. It�s not nearly as dramatic as Tidus�s death scene in FFX though. I think Shenai�s still in mourning.) What kind of an answer is that!! (Notices what�s happening to her body and jumps back.) ...Ah!? What�what the--? No...

Eike: (Amazingly calm against all odds. What a dipstick.) Oh! I get it now. By changing Hugo�s past, I�ve cancelled the existence of the time machine itself! (Um... Eike dear? Wasn�t this exactly what you stated just before you destroyed the notes a few scenes back? Honestly. It�s like the dude has this disease that discards any information or conversations he had only a few minutes ago and then rethinks them, but with no knowledge of him having previously thought them. Reminds me of someone else I know... 3 guesses and the last two don�t count.)

(There is a head shot of Mary Sue fading away and looking ready to shit her pants and then a shot of Eike just looking on calmly. This makes no sense. Unless of course, Eike is like the rest of us moderately sane people who hate Mary Sue�s guts but I don�t think we can group Eike into the same category as the rest of the human race.)

Mary Sue: H-help... (Runs forward into Eike�s arms. Oh, barf. Still, this is the closest thing I have to a Mary Sue death scene so I might as well enjoy it. Eike kind of complacently puts his arms around her as she buries her face into his chest. Oh fuck, where did I put those chopsticks?)

Mary Sue: Ei... (3 seconds pass and she fades away completely. Yes! The She-witch is dead! Time for a party! Oh hold on, no she�s not. The past has changed, that�s all... Dammit... Still, I could just pretend.)

(Eike stands there for about a minute then finally puts his arms down. We get some great fanservice here where the camera slowly pans up his body from the crotch. I enjoy it. Hey, give me a break. After what I just saw, can you blame me?)

Eike: Is it... over? All this...

(And on that intelligent note from Mr. Wit the chapter ends and the prologue loads up. Hurry, I sense Homy vibes!!)

(The scene reopens on Eike simply staring at the ground, contemplating the concrete. Things must look different in the eyes of a retard... I�ll have to ask Shenai about it sometime... N E way, the predictable sound of �High heeled booties� soundtrack starts up and Homy enters the building. Cute as ever, with poofier pants and an even poofier attitude. How�s that for wit, Eike?)

Homy: (Knowing the following speech off by heart and utterly sick to death of it. But he gets paid for it, so he�s gonna do it anyway.) Well, looks like it�s over, doesn�t it? (Waves a hand at Eike lightly.) Good job, Eike.

Eike: (Going into �Self Righteous Angsty Hero mode.� If you like this mode, then I suggest playing Final Fantasy 8 and watching Squall for a few hours. That or Aragorn.) ...I...I was trying to change my destiny....

Homy: (Boredly puts his hand on his hip. Since those hips belong to him and he is able to touch them whenever he wants to. Lucky bastard.) And you did.

Eike: Was it all for you? You used me just to make sure that you�d be created... that no one would stop you from living.... (Oh cry me a fucking river Eike. You�re alive, he�s alive. Where�s the harm done? Oh, except for Wolfy and possibly Hugo and Mary Sue but that�s no big deal.)

Homy: (Trying a different approach.) Oh really? (Yeah, that�s tellin� em.)

Eike: (Tohru mode.) ...And in doing that, I changed other people�s lives. (Homy meanwhile is rolling his eyes, wondering why he�s wasting his time listening to this lecture from a brainless blonde when he could be off frolicking about the Limb with his new boyfriend Bartimaeus.) Is my own fate worth that much? Is yours...? (Homy: Well, let me think... Hmmm... YES.) So how am I supposed to feel...? (Dude, no one cares how you feel.)

Homy: (One step away from laughing in his pretty boy face.) Oh please, enough with the gloomy angst, Eike. Are you trying to put me on a guilt trip? (Yeah, I bet Homy�s feeling real bad about his actions. "Oh, I�ve been a naughty genie. Bad genie!" *Slaps face*) I mean, who cares? (He gets nicer every time he says this.) Yes, you managed to preserve my destiny � if you�d been killed, I would never have been born. (And Shenai would have never known what true love was.) Immortality has its perks, but you have to exist first.

Eike: (Hangs his head and adopting a crybaby expression.) ...damn it, I don�t believe this.... So I was just being used, after all.

Homy: (Looking slightly offended then quickly gets over it.) Oh, by the way, I need the Digipad back. (I�m guessing he wants to take Barty back to Egypt for their two week anniversary. Homy tromps on over to Eikey-poo, clickity clacking away and Eike takes out the Digipad and hands it to him. Even he knows when he�s not the favorite anymore.)

Eike: Here you are.

Homy: (Cheery.) Time for me to go.... I suppose we won�t be seeing each other again. In all likelihood... (Turns and walks away. Oh it�s so sentimental I could just cry. ...Or not. Homy strides away into the distance and fazes out back to his swinging Limbo pad of love for some private time. Take this any way you want. There is a little black out, then the scene opens up to show Eike just staring at a spot slightly to the right of the camera, looking quite stoned then another fade out. WTF? I�m confused. And if you think that�s off the rocker, wait until you see what�s coming!)

(Flash back scene)

(Exactly what it says. The scene now flashes back to the 1500�s to show Wolfy�s completion of the Homy-(-monculus) on the 10^th day. Remember that giant Jam Jar full of sparkly Ginger Ale I mentioned before? Well, Homy is squished into that. I mean literally. He is curled up, (conveniently clothed I might add) in a fetal position, with his arms wrapped around his cute little parachute panted legs. Wolfy watches him disturbingly as a strange gurgling noise erupts from the jar and the bubbles in the Ginger Ale multiply. Guess he must have shaken the jar up. The dual shock goes to town, giving a little wriggle as Homy flexes his forearms and the front of the jar explodes sending glass and Ginger Ale everywhere. Wolfy shields his face with his hands and when he finally looks back, Homy is perched on top of the jam jar. Not on the pointy bit, though I think that would have added to the scene.)

Homy: (Stretching.) Well... how many centuries has it been since I saw the light of day? (Shakes Ginger Ale from his hair, then leans on one knee as he looks down at Wolfy smugly.) Are you my so-called master this time around? (Shenai is drooling ravenously right now, even if she�s not supposed to be in the room because she�ll just get upset again.)

Wolfy: (Gazing at Homy in horror, though really he should be proud of creating such a cute as button little imp.) What the...?

Homy: (Politely.) "What" yourself... you�re the one that broke the seal. (As Wolfy gives him the once over.) So... what do you desire most? Immortality...? Eternal youth? To be filthy rich? Name it and it�s yours.

(Shenai just yelled; "I want you Homy!" in Wolfy�s voice. Just thought I�d mention that since it�s one of the marginally funny things she�s said in the last half hour.)

Wolfy: (Shaking his head.) What is this...?! What lunacy...!

(Homy just gives him a sort of wise guy impatient look and leaps from the top of the jar to the floor before the stairs. He turns to look at Wolfy, though I�d be taking the chance to look the other way.)

Homy: But of course, your soul is mine when your futile existence ends.... (Ah-ha! So he does steal souls! Score one for Eike! I wonder what Homy does with his souls once he gets them? Hmm... in the spirit of things, here�s two new quizzes for ya!)
Quiz 13: What does Homy do with the souls once he gets them?

Adds them to his collection.

Trades them with other soul collectors. Gotta catch �em all!

Eats them.

Gives them to his current squeeze as a present.

Sells them to the Big "S".

Uses them as drink coasters.

Sells them on the black market. Or New York.

Quiz 14: What should Wolfy wish for?

A mountain of gold and dancing girls.

His wife coming back to life would be the most noble thing he could wish for.

More soup.

To be young.

To be young and handsome.

To be young and handsome and rich.

Homy!!

For some Fruits Basket DVD�s.

Homy: (Cheerfully.) Until then, you can do whatever you like. Come on, name your wish.

Wolfy: (Keeling over, holding his hands to his face as though he�s never seen anything so ugly in his life. Hello. He has Mary Sue as a daughter.) For what... for this, I...

Homy: (Having the most fun he�s had since the �Djinni�s Christmas Party� when he was dressed as a mistletoe tree.) Huh? What did you say? I didn�t catch that. (Wolfy: I didn�t throw it!)

Wolfy: (Looking upwards towards the ceiling being an over dramatic asswipe. You know, just for a change.) Was my research in vain? Was I wrong, after all these years devoted to my task...? Helena.... Forgive me....

(Oh for the love of my Mom, you think the guy would be happy that he gets a wish and a cute genie all rolled into one, but nooooo~ooo... He�s going to be a spoilt whiny brat about it. Even Homy�s bored by now.)

Homy: (Crossing his arms tiredly.) Oh hurry up, will you?

(A few seconds pass as Homy examines some of Wolfy�s shelves whilst the man proceeds to have a mental breakdown in the corner. Finally, he manages to summon up enough mental power to make a decision.)

Wolfy: Give me my youth. (Ever heard of saying �please� Wolfy? It is a custom in some countries ya know.) I want to start my life over. And if possible, let me stay that age....

Homy: (Glad the old coot has finally made up his mind. Hey, Homy�s a busy genie! He�s got places to go, souls to steal, people to seduce, old friends to catch up with! Not to mention all the work his Swinging Limbo pad is going to be needing. It�s bound to have gathered a bit of dust in the last hundred or so years.) Sure thing... Hold on. (Draws back his arm) There! (Swings his arm forward and his face blurs and flashes into a few carbon copies before a light steals out from it. The floor beneath Wolfy starts to smoke and for a moment I think that Homy got his spell messed up and instead conjured up the people cooking oven. But no, it�s working. We get a close up on Wolfy�s face just before he changes.)

Wolfy: That young man the other day... I envied him his youth... (The smoke grows thicker and Wolfy cries out as he changes. His voice raises in pitch to prove that his younger and then the scene pans out to show the figures of young Wolfy and Homy standing in the fog, chilling out. Their features are obscured but if you�re smart enough, you can guess what Wolfy now looks like. The ponytail gives it away.)

Wolfy: (Touching his face.) Am I.... Did it really work?

Homy: (Not even looking at him, because let�s face it, who�d want to?) Trust me, OK? You got exactly what you wished for.... (All Homy cares about is ringing up his boyfriend and making sure he didn�t cheat on him the last hundred or so years they were apart. I�d wait for ya Homy!)

Wolfy: (Close up of his face that is still obscured by the smoke. He raises his head and looks at Hunky Homy, because unlike him, he happens to be eye candy. And looking at him is a pleasure.) Your work here is done, It�s back to where you came from, demon.

(This is where I would advise Shenai to leave the room. But she insists that no matter what, Homy looks cute in this scene so she has to stay. Great...)

(Homy is someone off in Wonderland but a zappy noise snaps him to attention. He spins to face Wolfy, striking a pretty sexy pose in the process and the camera pans down to show a pentagram light up beneath his booted feet. Homy gets a look on his face like he just saw Mary Sue naked and raises a hand to his face as a light shoots up around him from the symbol on the ground. We also get some nice fanservice where Homy�s boobs are right in the camera like this makes up for them wedging his butt into the devils equivalent of a crucifix. Go boil your heads game designers. Though Shenai did enjoy the shot.)

Homy: Damn! A pentagram!

Wolfy: (As Homy writhes around in pain, damn near tying himself into a knot.) It�s no great art to get rid of the likes of you.... But I was well advised to ready an additional barrier. (Extends an arm.) Return to the stone from whence you came!! And I well start my research � and my life- from the beginning.

Homy: (As pissed as I�ve ever seen him. Kind of sexy really, though he�s always sexy so that�s not really saying much.) You...you!! Damn it, you�ll pay for this.... No pentagram is completely.... (Lightbulb.) I...I�ll whip�I mean, eh... wipe your mind of memories.... (Thrusts his arms out sideways and another flash of light extends through the pentagram and hits Wolfy. He cries out and keels, clutching his head. On ya, Homy. Better then any punishment I�ve ever thought of... Hold on a second...)

Wolfy: Aaa.... Ahhh...

Homy: Be damned... to the endless night of youth....

(A huge cylinder of light shots out from all sides of the pentagram and reverberates around the room, sending everything into disarray. Pots smash and other shit goes down. Wolfy is thrown back against the kiln though unfortunately he doesn�t catch on fire. Homy reels, tipping his head back on his neck as the pentagram sends up little gold tendrils that spin in circles up around the outside of the design before ensnaring him. The light drags him downwards and traps him once more in the stone, for which I am sure he is really glad about. His boyfriend is going to be celibate for a long, long time at this rate. Wolfy falls forward into the pentagram clutching his head as everything returns to normal. He sits up a bit, catching site of his own reflection in a piece of shattered glass on the floor. Big revelation it�s: GASP EIKE!! All those who are surprised please raise your hand. N E way, Eike/Wolfy has obviously lost his memory as made clear by Homy�s hex and doesn�t have the slightest clue who he is. Maybe this is a good thing. I know I�d be glad to forget about myself if I was anything like Wolfy.)

Eike/Wolfy: (Looking around.) Where am...? (Looks around a bit more making stupid confused noises and finally spots the stone. I can just imagine Homy kicking it from the inside. Eike/Wolfy picks it up and gets to his feet as he examines it.) Beautiful... stone.... (Eike/Wolfy: Duh-RUH purdy rocky!!!) (Eike/Wolfy gazes around a bit more before heading up the stairs and ultimately exiting the house. This ending comes to a close with the images of Eike/Wolfy, wandering the streets of Lebensraum in a daze. (Not that this is any different from the way things have been. Fade to black, end Ending D.)

(Well, there are so many things to contemplate about this ending that I really shouldn�t get into it. Though there is just one thing that really gets us here at Yaoi Headquarters; Eike couldn�t have been how Wolfy looked when he was younger, because if he was, Wolfy would have recognized him whenever they met before. This doesn�t explain where the image of Eike has come from then, or the character himself. Because there must have been an original person who looked that way, if it was not the way that Wolfy looked when he was young so where the Hell is he and where did he go? Not to mention Eike�s memories. Shouldn�t he remember having been in the town for the last 5 centuries? What�s up with that? Jesus Christ, it makes the brain hurt just thinking about it. ...Well, this is my last riff entry for Shadow of Memories: The Script of Sarcasm. Shenai is going to write Ending E so I wish her luck. I shall leave you with the many questions I have imposed upon you about Ending D to rattle your brain until next time. I hope you enjoyed my chapters!

Sayonara!)
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Shadow of Destiny: The script of sarcasm