Monster Hunter: Whore | By : Somburliss Category: +M through R > Monster Hunter Views: 21052 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own the fandom or any of the characters from the Monster Hunter franchise. I make no profit from this story. |
“What do you mean you won’t ‘just make it for me’? You make equipment for all the male hunters! Will this island’s sexism never end!?” you roar.
After realizing where the other hunters were getting their impressive gear, you’ve gone to the Smithy to get some of your own. It’s clear why your hunts have been unsuccessful. Your leather skirt and crop top from the Old World just aren’t cutting it. But the dwarf behind the counter is refusing you service because you’re a woman. Well, he’s only a little shorter than you. But any man who’s shorter than you is a dwarf in your book.
“Listen, Blondie,” the blacksmith replies. “I ain’t refusin’ your business just cuz you’re a dumb slut with a big pair a’ tits. If you had the money and materials, I’d gladly make you some better equipment and send you off ta get walloped by more monsters. But ye’ve got neither, and we don’ do IOUs. It’s that simple.”
Liz is towards the back of the building, talking with the blacksmith’s apprentices. John and Eric, you think their names were? Though the “talk” seems to be annoying them, since it’s mostly Liz pointing at things and talking to no end. You’d normally do a better job of babysitting her, but you’ve got your own issues to deal with, and she doesn’t seem to be causing any trouble.
Steaming, you hiss, “And how am I supposed to get money and monster parts without better gear!?”
He shrugs. “Have you tried not being a puny, useless huntress? An’ maybe learnin’ some basic monster huntin’ skills?”
“Have I what,” you drip venomously. “YOU’RE the useless one! I need exactly one thing from you, and it’s new weapons and armor. I’m a HUNTER in this village! Keeping me well-equipped should be your top priority! If you won’t even forge things for hunters, then what good are you?”
The Smithy sighs. “Case you haven’t noticed, Blondie, there’s quite a line formin’ behind you. Ya want somethin’ new? Have a slinger, on the house.”
He hands you a tiny, insignificant hand crossbow. You strap it to the back of your right palm skeptically. It looks like it couldn’t even take out this eyepatch-wearing dwarf’s other eye, much less a monster. He’s making fun of you, right? That’s why he gave you this toy?
He continues, “It has tons a’ applications. Find some puddle pods in the wild? Use ‘em ta break mud off a’ monsters. Tired a’ other monsters interferin’ with yer hunt? Fling some dung at ‘em! It’ll scare ‘em right off.”
“You.. actually expect me to shoot shit at monsters with this thing?” you ask skeptically. He nods. You sigh. “Okay, genius. Answer me this. How am I supposed to use this thing when I’m already using both hands to hold my weapons?”
“Easy. You put your weapons away, then-”
You rip the slinger off and toss it aside haphazardly. “Come on Liz. Let’s go.”
“You got it, pard!” She skips to your side, no longer interviewing the apprentice smiths in the back. You’re pretty sure you hear one of them breathe a sigh of relief.
“Hey, you, I got a problem with your blacksmi-”
“IS THAT KATELYN’S MOUTH I HEAR SUCH DISRESPECT COMING FROM!?” the Commander bellows.
“Sir no sir!” you answer swiftly, snapping to a salute. Ugh, your last visit to the Lounge practically has you trained like a dog. Your legs are trembling, you’re sweating in fear, and you didn’t even think twice about saluting this asshole. Damn it…
Liz looks up at you in shock at your sudden submissive behavior, then snaps to her own, poorly postured salute. “Sir!”
“That’s what I like to see. Now, I KNOW you didn’t come here to complain about our blacksmith, because I KNOW you haven’t slain a single monster since you got here. Which means you have NO BUSINESS talking to the blacksmith. He won’t make anything for you without monster parts. Uh… except a slinger. He hands those things out like candy.”
You’re aware.
“Anyway,” he continues, “if you’re daring to bother me, I’ll assume you’re looking for work. Which I normally wouldn’t give to such a useless huntress, but your timing works out great. Some equally useless researcher has been going on and on about the Jyuratodus ever since some competent hunters rescued him. He wants more… research stuff. He had a list of things he wanted, but damn if I was paying attention. Just go capture one. A live specimen should have everything he needs.”
“A… Juradotadus?” you ask.
“A Jyuratodus!” Liz enthusiastically corrects you. “Come on pard, I’ve read all about them! Let’s go!”
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