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Reviews for Majestic Twilight

By : omega13
  • From ANON - Jack on July 21, 2008
    Looks like things are going to get alot more interesting.
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  • From ANON - Anon on April 14, 2008
    Personally, a pairing I've always wanted to see (But can't seem to find anywhere) is Link/Agitha.

    Yes, Agitha the Bug Princess. Just food for thought.

    Keep up the good work!
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  • From Fairycat on February 19, 2008
    I like this story simply because you put some thought into it. It is not a story where Link gang bangs every female (or male) he comes across and I thank you for not doing that. You managed to keep Link in character by keeping him honest and good natured but yet you somehow managed to give Link the personality of a normal 16 or 17 year old that is just human. This is wonderfully well written and a joy to read.

    Also I wanted to tell you that I love your author notes at the end. I find myself enjoying reading those just as much as I love the story.
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  • From ANON - Hunter on January 05, 2008
    Hey I want to say this is one of the best written stories i have ever read. Not sure weather that tells the absence of my experiences or the profoundness of your writing skills, but I really enjoy reading this. My favorite aspects are the unique relationships and the way the story flows into the game. It is a great story i can't wait to read more. I would consider maybe writing something for retail sale if I were you.
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  • From ANON - Anon on January 04, 2008
    Any chance we could see a lesbian scene with Zelda and Midna? (human form). They really seemed to have something going on in the game.
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  • From ANON - Anon on December 30, 2007
    this is cool i cant wait for agitha i hope she gets lots of chapters
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  • From Streti on December 26, 2007
    Poor Link, not getting to climax. And poor Beth, having such a complete first sexual encounter and yet missing a chance to experience a boy's ejaculation. There is really no reason for Link to have restrained and restricted himself so. Not inside her, that is perfectly understandable, but not at all, and especially after such a strain. It was rather anticlimactic, excuse the double meaning. But aside from that, the rest of the encounter was well written, detailed and involved. The updated chapter also seems to bring down the overly adult tone of Beth, perhaps partly because of the extended, and maturing, encounter. It succeeds in giving a clearer impression of the permissive atmosphere even before the intent it spelled out in the end. Overall, it was indeed good before, and this is an improvement, but with that one puzzling omission, or lack thereof (ahem).
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  • From ANON - little lady on December 22, 2007
    Still one of the best things I've read.
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  • From ANON - applecore on December 11, 2007
    First off, love the story. Sex is great, and you make time to develop the character's and situations, integral for the level of quality you're going for.

    As for suggestions regarding the fishing girl, she doesn't strike me as the type to sleep with a guy after their first meeting. It would prehaps have to take plave after Link has visited and the two have gotten to know each other better.

    Prehaps, and this is just a suggestion, Link could make the first move in this case? Perhaps the lonlyness and despair of being separated from his home and friends getting to him? A moment of weakness for the hero that shows he is not invincible. I like the idea myself, with tweaking it could work.


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  • From Streti on December 10, 2007
    I seem to have mentally skipped a number there. It should be sixth and then 7, and even those are referring to the AFF numbering instead of the in-story numbering, so perhaps I should have subtracted one (fifth and 6) instead of adding one. Thus, the confusion.
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  • From Streti on December 09, 2007
    Ah, I must be checking AFF too seldom these days, to have missed these updates. Yet great to see you have returned. The scene with Uli and Ilia was lovely, though it remains unclear whether he climaxed in their handling, despite the word expressly mentioned.

    The scene with Rusl and Ilia was great too and I would have liked to see it detailed further. I was interested in the scene between Rusl and Ilia as well, but the explnation of physical/mental for it was fitting. Also, I should think that you need not consider political correctness on a site such as this, to not limit scenes in that regard.

    Now, the scene with Beth, you might think me one to be disappointed in it, but I'm quite pleased with it. Sexless it certainly isn't, as there is a very sexual encounter despite its relative innocence. You've handled it tastefully and I think it's a great scene for Link and Beth. I do wish that it will be developed later, such as in Kakariko, though. There is one thing though, her dialogue sounds much too adult. A line like “My own damned foolishness.” is just one of them, the sentence structure and lexicon would sit ill with any of the older characters, and much less Beth.

    The seventh chapter was perhaps following the game too closely to prove especially riveting, but the writing and description continue to be solid. I'm not entirely sure from the notes whether ch. 8 will have a sexual encounter, but looking forward to it nevertheless.
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  • From Spiriti on December 08, 2007
    Hena seems to be pretty obsessed with good fishermen. Maybe Link could spend some time there with her and talk or something, catch a monster fish, earn her respect, and go from there.

    I don't know, I'm not much of an ideas person, just a thought.
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  • From Chuck on December 05, 2007
    This story is very very good. I have absolutly no criticisms or complaints.
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  • From ANON - JBrock on December 03, 2007
    Wow... just wow! I'm very impressed with your use of allusions and foreshadowing, as well as your writing style as a whole. It's people like you and stories like this that bring me to AFF. I, for one, will most definitely continue to check for new chapters.
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  • From ANON - Jack Attack on December 02, 2007
    I must say, I am contstantly impressed by your writing style. The personalities in your story are three dimensional and the reader is shown just a little more of your Link's mindset. Beth's motivations were believeable, although you could have spent just a little more time explaining Beth's state of mind.

    It does have a slight, sorry to put it bluntly, egotistical edge to it, but unlike most I find who manage to convey that in their works, you rightly deserve it.

    For mistakes, I could only find one (though I am by no means an English Teacher or Literary Critc), and that is so minor I woulnd't even consider it a proper mistake: Villager, not village. Likely a minor typo that spell check corrected...incorrectly.
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